NEW YORK — Kasi Lafond, in her early 20s, lived in Branson, Missouri, a town often visited by tourists and home to many older residents. Eager to date, she found it challenging, leading her, like many her age, to dating apps.
After five years of sporadic dates that never really worked out, she reflected, “I tried and I failed. There wasn’t much I could do about it.”
Now 28, Lafond has been living with a chronic illness—Ehlers-Danlos syndrome—along with other health challenges. Often, her dates either didn’t know how to deal with her situation or treated her as if she were nothing more than a patient. That, she firmly believed, wasn’t going to work.
A change came when she discovered Dateability, an app specifically for individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses. Encouraged by her mom after reading about it, Lafond quickly found her match in Colin Lafond, who also faced dating difficulties due to his cerebral palsy.
The two got married in September.
Colin Lafond shared, “We all have fairy tales in our heads about falling in love and meeting the person we love. But at the end of the day, I don’t have all my limbs fully functional. I have extra parts for everything.”
Making Dating Easier for Those with Disabilities
The inspiration behind Dateability came from two sisters from Denver, Colorado. Jacqueline Child, 31, who suffers from Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, and other debilitating conditions, co-founded the app three years ago.
Jacqueline relies on a feeding tube just to survive.
She recalled feeling like an outsider being overlooked by mainstream dating apps, saying, “The mention of disability was completely negative. They wouldn’t even give me a chance.”
With her sister Alexa, they now count around 40,000 registered users and have recently revamped the app to enhance usability, expanding their reach to Canada, Mexico, and the UK.
“I just wanted a level playing field where I was interested and other young people were interested,” Jacqueline stated.
Many Adults Report Disabilities
According to a 2022 report from the CDC, over 70 million adults in the U.S.—or roughly one in four—will report having a disability, coinciding with the launch year of Dateability.
Initially, 1,000 individuals registered within the first month, and the user base has reportedly grown tenfold since then.
The app features both free and paid options, with differences in how users access profiles. Free users must like or pass profiles before viewing others, while paid users can see all profiles that liked them simultaneously.
Dateability is open to non-disabled users but aims to minimize those who might fetishize disabilities. The sisters discovered that many non-disabled users have ties to the disabled community, whether through family or advocacy efforts.
“We wanted to make it truly inclusive,” Alexa added.
Finding Long-Term Partners Online
Sophie Brisker, 23, from Pikesville, Maryland, found her boyfriend on Dateability. After developing chronic fatigue syndrome and other health issues before turning 18, she sought out the app in 2022.
With her mobility severely limited, she attends college online and often uses a wheelchair. Brisker noted, “It’s really exhausting having to explain to someone all of your limitations and illnesses.”
Though initially uncertain about dating, she found comfort in knowing that romantic expectations could be flexible.
Her boyfriend, managing long COVID and other chronic conditions, has resonated with her experiences. Currently, they’re planning a move to Louisville, Kentucky together.
“We hit it off about everything,” Brisker shared. “We understood each other in a way that no one else could.”
Matthew Shapiro, 34, a disability advocate from Richmond, Virginia, emphasizes the importance of building genuinely inclusive spaces. Born with cerebral palsy and using a power chair, he has explored both mainstream and disability-focused apps.
“People’s intentions with these apps weren’t necessarily pure,” he mentioned. He sought a community-like feel in dating.
His experience on Dateability stood out, especially after connecting with a woman who was not deterred by his differences. “It was the first time I felt fully seen, accepted, and loved in a relationship,” he noted. “With traditional apps, you have to hope that people will just accept you for who you are.”
An App for Inclusive Dating
Dating can be particularly tricky for those with disabilities, as they encounter stigma and misconceptions about their potential and challenges.
Moreover, accessibility in social spaces like bars or restaurants can be a significant barrier with factors like poor lighting or inadequate ramps coming into play.
Online, some dating platforms lack vital assistive technologies, such as support for sign language or compatible screen readers for the visually impaired.
Shapiro believes that opening up about personal needs is a daunting task for many, leading some to abandon dating altogether or never start. “People with disabilities deserve love and relationships, just like anyone else,” he pointed out.
“Love without worry. Love without hesitation or doubt. Many individuals with disabilities have yet to experience that kind of affection.”
