Dear Abby: My daughter is asking me to apologize to her boyfriend “Harry” for raising my voice at her while I was helping her move six years ago. I traveled quite a distance—about 250 miles—just to assist her.
So, on moving day, Harry didn’t take any leave from work, which meant he didn’t show up to help at all. When he finally arrived, he started moving at a snail’s pace, just sorting out recycled items. This, of course, didn’t help our situation much.
Once we got to the new place, Harry did pitch in a little, but when dinner arrived, he chose to sit down and eat instead of continuing to help while the rest of us were still busy loading. I had already been at it for over 10 hours, and that’s when I lost my cool. I told him off for not contributing more.
In their relationship, Harry mostly goes to work and then comes home to play video games. He hasn’t really pitched in around the house or shown much interest in taking care of his son, which adds to my frustration.
Recently, Harry has made some efforts to help out with his son, but my daughter feels stuck in the middle and wants me to apologize for what happened. Since then, I haven’t said anything negative about him. In fact, I even liked some of his social media posts.
While I’ve moved on, he seems to still hold a grudge. I suggested to my daughter that she might need to seek professional advice. During my last visit, he opted to stay at a hotel instead of being around.
Interestingly, his son thinks there should be apologies on both sides, saying that Harry should apologize first. What do you think? — Canadian Family Dilemma
Dear Family Dilemma: Let’s be honest—your daughter’s boyfriend seems rather immature. Consider it a blessing that she’s not married to him.
Someone really needs to step up. I think you should take the initiative and apologize to Harry, even if it’s just for your daughter’s benefit.
Dear Abby: Is it appropriate for parents to send birthday invitations to school when only certain students are invited?
I have a preschooler with special needs, and I feel deeply for her challenges and her desire for connection.
Recently, a parent in a Facebook group mentioned their daughter’s birthday party. It turns out that invitees had to text a number to confirm attendance, and we never received an invitation.
Were we the only ones left out? Honestly, I get particularly sensitive about my daughter’s inclusion.
I believe that it’s okay to invite friends, but still, I think some discretion on the part of the host parent would be kinder.
Parents should have the contact information of their child’s friends’ guardians for various important reasons. What do you think? — Uninvited in the East
Dear Uninvited: I completely agree. As someone who once felt alienated as a child, I understand how you feel.
Parents should always keep each other’s contact information for their children’s friends, which can be crucial in emergencies.
