Dear Abby

I’ve been married to my husband for just two months, and so far, I’ve only shared the news with close friends and family. Recently, someone reached out to me about my husband, mentioning that he has Asperger’s Syndrome. This person knows my name and number, but I have no idea who they are or why they felt compelled to tell me this now.

I’ve had my suspicions about my husband possibly having Asperger’s, so it’s not entirely a shock, but honestly, this is really weighing on me. I can’t seem to sleep or think straight. I also lost my mother to cancer not long ago, which just adds to the emotional turbulence. Previously, I dated someone who was a narcissist and lied frequently—so now I can’t help but wonder if I’m in another situation where trust is an issue.

I’m feeling confused and upset. Part of me thinks my husband should get tested for Asperger’s, but now I’m questioning my ability to trust him at all. Any advice? — Another loss in Canada

Dear Lost Person

I want to emphasize that anonymous messages might not be as constructive as they seem; sometimes, they can create problems rather than solve them. Before suggesting a formal diagnosis to your husband regarding Asperger’s, try doing some research online to understand more about it.

You might also want to look into resources from the Autism and Neurodiversity Association (aane.org). If you find credible information supporting the idea that your husband may have Asperger’s, then it might be worth discussing the possibility of him seeing a professional. Remember, he may not be lying but instead might be unaware or in denial. This doesn’t have to spell the end for your marriage; many people on this spectrum lead fruitful lives.

Dear Abby

I’m close to my best friend and colleague, who is 57, while I’m only 32. Her husband passed away two years ago, leaving her with their 22-year-old son. We’ve been friends and co-workers for about six years, but lately, I’ve come to realize that my feelings for her run deeper.

I’m unsure if she feels the same way or how she views our age difference. This makes me anxious about potentially asking her out, as I really don’t want to jeopardize our friendship.

Whenever our eyes meet, or our hands accidentally brush, my heart races. I’ve developed pretty strong feelings for her, but I’m scared to express them. Yet, if I keep it bottled up, I think it might just drive me crazy. What should I do? — Falling in Love with Her in Kansas

Dear Falling

Consider inviting her—and some other friends or co-workers—to a laid-back lunch or dinner. In a light, casual way, let her know how much you enjoy spending time together and ask her about the age difference. If she isn’t bothered by it, then tell her you really care about her and wonder if she’d consider dating you.

If she’s open to it and your workplace has policies against dating, you might have to think about other job options. On the other hand, if she feels dating could be awkward, just reassure her that you think she’s fantastic and that you’ll always value your friendship.