Dear Abby: I’ve had a long-standing friendship with “Mylene.” We often looked after each other’s dogs to help with costs. I was there for her during tough times, like when she broke her leg and needed help with her dog. No matter what, whether it was a funeral or a family crisis, I always made it a point to be there for her.
Recently, my aunt passed away in another state, and I had to make a drive there. My daughter was in the hospital and took charge of arranging the funeral, which got postponed because my aunt’s body needed to be moved for the service.
When I reached out to Mylene to ask for her help, she mentioned wanting to get a dog but said she couldn’t keep one if the date changed. She said, “I have to work,” which I found confusing since my dog, Abby, is home alone while I’m at work. I did remind her of all the assistance I’d given her, but it didn’t seem to matter much. This was just two days before I was set to leave for the funeral.
I’ve made several attempts to apologize to Mylene, but she has been unresponsive except for sending emojis, which honestly feels passive-aggressive. Why can’t she just talk to me like an adult? After all I’ve done for her, is this really the response I deserve? What’s your take on this? — Disappointed in North Carolina
I think it’s understandable to feel let down. You’ve done a lot for Mylene, but reminding her of your past deeds when she couldn’t assist you isn’t the best approach. Perhaps she felt embarrassed after your reminder. Remember, when you help someone, it’s best to do it without expecting anything in return. Honestly, I’d suggest you find another dog sitter as soon as possible.
Dear Abby: Our daughter lives about an hour away, and both of us are in good health. She took her time getting married and having kids, and now her daughters are 10 and 8. The younger one is sweet and shy, but that 10-year-old? She’s a handful. Very clever, but incredibly manipulative—lying, cheating, stealing. She’s rude, often defying adult instructions. Her parents do their best to discipline her with short timeouts, but clearly, that’s just not working.
None of the neighbors are keen on having this child over. And now, with her approaching puberty, it feels even more challenging. We love our daughter and want to maintain a good family relationship. What can we do to help? — Exhausted Grandparents in Ohio
It sounds like a 10-minute timeout isn’t enough for this girl’s ongoing misbehavior. Without proper intervention, it’s likely to escalate. It might be time to suggest to your daughter that she speaks with a child psychologist, who can provide guidance to help steer her daughter in the right direction.
