Dear Abby

My son married a wonderful woman, “Noelle,” two years ago. They live a few hours away and have a one-year-old son, my third grandchild. Noelle’s parents live about 16 miles from me, and she takes the baby there almost every weekend—but I haven’t seen them since my grandchild’s birthday five months ago.

Interestingly, my daughter lives right across the street from Noelle’s parents. Although she is related to Noelle, she wasn’t invited to the baby’s first birthday, so I took her kids along. There were plenty of others there, mainly adults and her baby cousin.

We’re not horrible people. There has never been any conflict, but it really hurts that they don’t see me as part of the family. My son’s father isn’t allowed to see the baby, and I don’t believe he’s even met Noelle. I’ve been asking my son and daughter-in-law to let me spend time with the baby, even just for a day or overnight, but that opportunity never seems to materialize. What can I say to help them understand how much their actions affect us? I really don’t want to make things worse. — Disappointed Grandma in Texas

Dear Grandma: This is a conversation to have with your son, who may be unaware or unable to act on the situation. Does he understand that you feel excluded? If he does, perhaps he can explain why things are this way. If he doesn’t see the issue, share your feelings with him. Maybe that will encourage him to address the situation.

Dear Abby: A year ago, my life changed dramatically when my wife passed away after a long battle with stage 4 breast cancer. Since then, I’ve felt utterly lost. I’m alone now, with only our two cats for company, and I still handle all the household chores.

Trying out a dating site led me to several women I thought I might connect with. However, every time I think about dating, I feel like I would be betraying my late wife, which brings back all the hurt. How can I move forward? — Dispute in California

Dear Opponent: I’m truly sorry for your loss. If you’re looking for a female perspective, consider speaking with a licensed psychologist. This way, you can process your feelings without projecting them onto someone new. If therapy isn’t financially viable, a grief support group could be beneficial in working through the guilt you feel about moving on.