Dear Abby: After attending water aerobics classes for three months, I’ve been doing it with talkers in the pool. I’m not the only one who is upset that a few women disrespect the instructor and other members of the class. The instructor and other participants ask you to be quiet. There is also a sign on the door requesting to limit conversation.
These older women don’t realize how loud and annoying they are. Some people are hard of hearing, and indoor pool acoustics are terrible, making their voices louder. No kidding, two of them were talking for an hour and the rest of us couldn’t really hear the instructor or the music.
We’re kidding that we think we’re exercising, we’re just moving our bodies up and down and talking. Sometimes they ask, “What are we doing now?” Because they’re not paying attention. When these women start talking to each other, those nearby become distracted and unable to work.
Is it wrong to think that once class starts, conversations should stop so that everyone can participate? — Splash Mad of North Idaho
Dear Splash: you are not wrong.of instructor These women should be told that they are disrupting class and to limit their chatting to the locker room. If you are unable to comply, please leave the area.
Dear Abby: My wife “Connie” is an angel. She is caring for her elderly father and her sister who suffers from Alzheimer’s disease. This, in addition to her religious practices, consumes most of her time, energy, and mental resources. She often comes home in the late afternoon or early evening completely exhausted from stress.
An elderly and disabled neighbor sometimes asks Connie for help with small errands. However, the woman has recently experienced an event that requires more help, and Connie feels “bound” to provide it.
Given Connie’s previous commitments to her family, I don’t think she should feel obligated to provide the additional assistance that this neighbor currently needs. I was concerned that these additional responsibilities would be detrimental to her health, and I told her so. She recognizes my position, but she feels her obligation to this neighbor.
To help your wife understand that you need to set limits and priorities for yourself and the family you care for, and not give in to further cries for help. What should I say? — In the limits of Oregon
Dear people on the edge: You are married to a rescue worker. She always puts the needs of others before her own well-being. You are not wrong to be worried. At some point, Connie may burn out. What you can do as her husband is to be supportive, remind her of the importance of taking care of herself (if she falls, no one will be able to help her), and that it All you have to do is intervene if it starts to affect your health.
Wouldn’t it be easier for Connie to coordinate outside help than take on all the day-to-day care of this neighbor? That’s a question worth asking.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440 (Los Angeles, CA 90069).
