Dear Abby
It seems like everywhere we go, tipping is expected. Just yesterday, I was in line at a drive-thru for a cookie shop and, before I could even pay, the clerk asked if I wanted to leave a tip.
Recently, my niece mentioned that after tipping at a restaurant, the server actually followed her outside to ask whether she thought they weren’t very good because the tip was low. This got me thinking about my family’s experiences with tipping.
I really don’t think the standard 20% rule holds up in this economy. The cost for a lunch for two at a sit-down place can be as much as a small appetizer, and honestly, when I go through a drive-thru, I don’t feel compelled to tip—I’m not using the facilities, after all. But then again, I often get that disappointed look from the person handing me my drink when I don’t tip. What do you think? — Fallen in Idaho
Dear Fallen
It’s true that many servers rely on tips to make ends meet since they earn less than minimum wage. However, you aren’t obligated to tip in every situation. It’s quite absurd for a server to chase your niece outside over a small tip. While some places suggest tips as high as 35%, most folks tend to stick with 15% or 20% of the bill.
Here’s my advice: Instead of complaining, if you think the service was good, then please leave a tip. Regardless of the restaurant, you’ll usually be warmly welcomed.
Dear Abby
Once a month, my wife and I join my brother and his wife for music trivia at a local pub. We thought it’d be a fun way to bond, since I’m pretty close to my brother. But it bothers me when my sister-in-law puts him down in front of us over simple trivia answers.
Initially, I thought it was all in good fun and laughed it off. But now, it’s really starting to irk me. My brother doesn’t respond because he doesn’t want to cause a scene, so the evenings always end on a frustrating note for both my wife and me.
We’ve been trying to think of ways to let our little brother know we don’t want them on our team without it blowing up. What can we say? Please help. — Michigan Sour Note
Dear Sour Note
Have a private chat with your brother and sister-in-law and gently explain that if they have criticisms about him, it’s better to keep them to themselves when in public or around you. It is, well, unpleasant. This might put a stop to the comments, and if they show up again and she criticizes him, you won’t need to say anything further—you can simply end their participation.
