Tired of Interruptions?
Psychologists and communication experts suggest there are reasons behind why some people tend to interrupt during conversations. One method, endorsed by the FBI, aims to prevent these interruptions.
According to Stuart Fedderson, a public speaking coach, there are typically two main reasons for interruptions. First, many people believe they know where the conversation is heading. Once they think they grasp the point, they feel the urge to jump in.
This phenomenon is termed “preemptive responding.” Dr. Shahrzad Jalali, a psychologist, explains that it happens when a listener starts crafting a response before the speaker finishes their thought. This can lead to misunderstandings and more interruptions, especially in fast-paced discussions.
What’s the other reason people might interrupt? Simple—they’re bored.
Fedderson notes that if someone isn’t engaged, they may lose interest and chime in prematurely. It’s a pretty common reaction, and it can be frustrating for the person trying to communicate.
Jalali points out that constant interruptions can erode self-expression and can create a lack of psychological safety for the speaker. Over time, this can lead individuals to hold back in conversations or self-censor, especially for those who have felt ignored before. The body can react with stress when faced with frequent interruptions.
To combat interruptions, Fedderson recommends using engagement techniques. One of these is called the “command pause.”
This technique is about asserting authority in communication. You start by framing your message to capture attention—perhaps saying, “I want you to pay attention to this,” followed by a pause. This moment of silence signals importance to your audience.
Fedderson explains that command pauses are often employed by FBI agents to ensure their communications are both heard and respected.
Jalali recognizes the value of this technique, especially in helping those who may interrupt out of turn. She mentions that strategic silence, paired with nonverbal cues, can prompt self-correction in those who interrupt, restoring balance in the conversation.
But what if the interruptions keep happening? Fedderson suggests using nonverbal communication, as a significant portion of our interactions is nonverbal. For example, when interrupted, you might raise your hand and say, “Can I finish my thought?” This gesture combined with a warm expression can effectively cue the other person to slow down.
He describes this gesture as the “power palm.” When you raise your hand in this manner, it subconsciously signals trust and cooperation. Fedderson claims this approach is effective in about 90% of cases.
Creating a supportive atmosphere—both verbally and nonverbally—helps bridge the gap in communication. Leaning in, smiling, and tilting your head while listening can enhance the connection.
Jalali agrees that the best communication strategies combine emotional regulation with clarity. They are most effective when delivered calmly and consistently, projecting assurance instead of aggression.
Fedderson attributes the rise in interruptions partly to a decline in face-to-face interactions, shorter attention spans, and quicker exchanges of information. He sees a pressing issue in this lack of communication skills being taught in schools, particularly impacting Generation Z.
Both Jalali and Fedderson emphasize the importance of active listening as a way to enhance our conversational abilities and likability.
Fedderson argues that many think being a good conversationalist means talking continually, but that’s not the case. Active listeners come across as charismatic because they make others feel valued.
The essence of effective listening? Respond just 20% of the time while dedicating 80% to listening.
Dr. Jalali adds that effective conversations start with self-control. Embracing silence, resisting the impulse to jump in immediately, and listening with genuine curiosity signal higher emotional intelligence.
