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Google Searches For ‘My Eyes Hurt’ Skyrocket After Idiots Stare Into Eclipse

Google searches for the term “sore eyes” spiked Monday afternoon as the solar eclipse spread across the United States, according to Google Trends data.

Despite repeated warnings from scientists not to look directly at the sun during an eclipse, as it can cause permanent damage to observers’ retinas, many Americans have heeded this advice. Looks like I didn’t lend it and immediately turned to Google to figure out what was going on.

According to Google Trends data, searches for “eye pain” are up in the wake of Monday’s solar eclipse. 4/8/24. Screenshots/Trends.Google..com

Searches for the term “sore eyes” began to spike in the United States around 1:20 p.m., as the eclipse began to spread across North America. Search trends continued to rise for two hours, peaking at 3:20 p.m., minutes before the eclipse peaked across much of the East Coast.

WASHINGTON DC – APRIL 8: People gather on the National Mall to watch the partial solar eclipse on April 8, 2024 in Washington, DC. People are traveling to regions across North America on the “total eclipse path” to experience today’s solar eclipse, and the next total solar eclipse visible across much of North America won’t occur until 2044 .Mr. Kent Nishimura/Getty Images

Search terms for “why my eyes hurt” also briefly spiked as some smooth brains needed help diagnosing retinal pain after staring directly into the sun. (Related: ‘The View’ host tries to explain the science behind the solar eclipse, with predictable results)

MAZATLAN, MEXICO - APRIL 8: The moon crosses in front of the sun during the Great North American Solar Eclipse on April 8, 2024 in Mazatlan, Mexico. Millions of people gathered in areas across North America. "path of wholeness" To experience a total solar eclipse. During the event, the moon will appear to pass between the sun and Earth, blocking the sun.Hector Vivas/Getty Images

Mazatlan, Mexico – April 8: The moon crosses in front of the sun during the Great North American Solar Eclipse on April 8, 2024 in Mazatlan, Mexico.Hector Vivas/Getty Images

Wapakoneta, Ohio - April 8: The Sun and Moon are perfectly aligned and the Sun's prominence is visible during a total solar eclipse in Wapakoneta, Ohio on April 8, 2024. Totality lasted about four minutes in Ohio. Millions of people gathered in areas across North America. "path of wholeness" To experience a total solar eclipse. During the event, the moon will appear to pass between the sun and Earth, blocking the sun.Matthew Hatcher/Getty Images

Wapakoneta, Ohio – April 8: A total solar eclipse on April 8, 2024 in Wapakoneta, Ohio will cause the Sun and Moon to be perfectly aligned and the Sun’s prominence to be visible. Totality lasted nearly four minutes in Ohio.Matthew Hatcher/Getty Images

WASHINGTON DC - APRIL 8: People gather on the National Mall to watch the partial solar eclipse in Washington, DC on April 8, 2024. People have traveled to areas throughout North America. "path of wholeness" To experience today's solar eclipse, the next total solar eclipse seen across much of North America won't occur until 2044.Kent Nishimura/Getty Images

WASHINGTON DC – APRIL 8: People gather on the National Mall to watch the partial solar eclipse on April 8, 2024 in Washington, DC.Kent Nishimura/Getty Images

Are you surprised that so many dummies ate the forbidden fruit? Did they literally do something they weren’t supposed to do? No, not at all. This is America. Freedom of choice also includes the freedom to make wrong choices. Still, I have to hand it to these guys. Unless they’ve been living under a rock, they’ve probably read, heard, or seen a million different warnings about staring into the sun and thinking, “Damn, I’m doing it anyway, it’s okay. ” you would say.

Well…judging by the results of these search trends, that was definitely fine for some people.

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