This Thanksgiving, I thank God for the gift from my parents and that we will soon be celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary.
Don't worry. All things considered, my boomer parents, Richard and Karen, are amazingly healthy. The fact that my family doesn't cherish this holiday season with the fear that it might be the last for one or both of us is a blessing in itself.
We weren't always so lucky.
A few days before Thanksgiving of my senior year in high school, my father's aortic aneurysm, which had been quietly swelling in his chest, suddenly ruptured and he nearly died. Only by the grace of God did he survive. Many others with his condition do not, including the late actor Alan Thicke.
After that tragic event, my entire family underwent thorough medical tests, at which point doctors discovered that my mother, who was in her early 40s at the time, had a severe congenital heart defect. Over the next 20 years, her health gradually deteriorated and she underwent a heart transplant three years ago. If she hadn't been eligible for a transplant, she might not be here now.
I don't intend to get morbid this holiday season or obsess over death unnecessarily. But I know I'm likely to outlive my parents. Thanksgiving and Christmas will never be the same without your parents.
The older we get, the more often we witness the heartbreak of people our age who have lost a parent. In November 2021, my best friend from high school lost her mother to a rare, progressive form of ALS. Six months later, my friend's father also passed away, less than a year after he and his wife celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary.
Another friend, who is two years younger than me, is still reeling from the sudden death of her mother in the summer of 2023. Yet another friend is enjoying the time he has left with his mother, who was recently diagnosed with cancer.
And I would be remiss if I didn't remember that my beloved Aunt Linda passed away in May 2021, and that my husband's uncle passed away a few weeks ago.
However memento mori This is a good mindset to adopt any time of the year, but I'm not trying to get morbid or needlessly obsessed with death this holiday season. But I know I'm likely to outlive my parents. Thanksgiving and Christmas will never be the same without your parents.
I know there are no perfect parents, but I am extremely lucky to have them. My mother, an accomplished designer, taught me the importance of beauty and behaving like a woman. My father instilled in me a love of sports. My father's quick wit reminded me and my siblings to never take ourselves too seriously.
But even more important than those lessons is that my parents gave me the gift of the Catholic faith and taught me through word and action the importance of the sacrament of marriage.
Even now, I would be devastated if my parents divorced, and I can't imagine the pain and trauma that children of divorced parents endure. That parents wake up every day and choose each other is a blessing worth remembering this Thanksgiving.
This spring, the two will celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary.
My in-laws and the parents of my two sister-in-laws and brother-in-law are still married. These couples are not immune to marital strife. At various times, some of them have overcome addiction, financial hardship, estrangement from other family members, and, of course, serious illness. Commitment is a choice.
My brother and his lovely wife, the mother of my beloved niece and nephew, have been married for 20 years. So while divorce can be cursed across generations, it seems that marriage vows can also be passed down through generations.
God willing, my husband and I will one day celebrate our 50th anniversary together. Then we will be grateful to God and our parents and their respective examples of marriage and commitment.
I don't know why God spared my parents, Richard and Karen, so much so that they could continue to live full and relatively healthy lives, but I'm grateful that He did. No matter how many Thanksgivings we have spent together, this year I am especially thankful for them and their faithful devotion to each other in sickness and in health.
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