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Happy Monday everyone. Well, stop it! got it. A United Airlines flight from Germany to San Francisco was forced to turn back after feces found its way onto the plane, which was unfair to the feces. I had bought a ticket to see my family in San Francisco (coming from Germany). The White House warned that sticky-fingered reporters were stealing items from Air Force One. Hey, leave me alone with this story, says a man. do you remember him? Masturbation. New research shows that 40% of adults will go days without face-to-face interaction. You must be very lucky. For me, it’s 100% in-person. Thank you for finding the photo of us in our clothes.
Lizzo announced that she was quitting the music business because she was tired of being dragged down by everyone in her life and on the internet. She plans to spend more time with her refrigerator, she says. The good news is that her doctors say stepping away from the music industry will be the best exercise she’s had in years. It’s interesting that her announcement to keep a low profile came a few days before the eclipse. Is it a coincidence or just lameness? Just before the start of this weekend’s NCAA women’s basketball game, officials discovered that the three-point lines were not the same distance on both sides of the court. Fans were furious that the game postponed the flea market. That’s a good joke.
A new survey has found half of senior parliamentary staff are considering quitting their jobs. Staff say the environment is so toxic that they can’t find a quiet place to film themselves having anal sex. Morgan just looked up. Economists are warning consumers upset about rising prices that higher prices bode well for the economy. Plus, they add, babies are slimmer than ever because the price of formula is rising. Look at those baby abs. The Wall Street Journal reports that living in a van is harder than expected. Well, you could have said that.
On this day in 1889, the first dishwasher was launched in Chicago. It comes with two movable arms, a cloth cover, and features a cheerful demeanor. Okay.
If you’re not having fun at a protest, call 911. Remember last week when we covered the biggest story of all time, or perhaps ever? Well, it’s Tampon Terror time again. Yes, it was a campus emergency to end all campus emergencies. During yet another anti-Israel protest, a woman had to change a tampon, so her friend called 911.
Student/911 Operator Exchange: Yes, there are currently female students who are being denied the right to change tampons that have been inserted for several hours. This leads to increased risks with tampons. toxic shock syndrome. So while you’re saying…I’m a woman, I understand. right. So you need to understand. Understood. What you don’t hear, what you don’t hear is that they are threatening to arrest her if she gets up to use the restroom to change a tampon. So it’s not an option for her. Ma’am, is there something urgent? Yes, ma’am, that’s right. It’s an emergency. No. Is it an emergency? Those inside are not your friends. Is there an emergency? That’s my emergency. Yeah, I don’t know. I can’t remember a time when I had a personal emergency and needed to call 911 for help. I’m sorry, could you please say that again? I don’t remember ever calling 911 for help unless it was a personal emergency. I’m asking for help. medicine. Emergency assistance!
Hey, you. It was on a tampon. But I’m sure for them that time is every day of the month. Look, I’d gladly send them a maxi pad to absorb their tears, but this isn’t Nelson Mandela’s. Somehow they are cool with the bloodshed by Hamas terrorists, but Aunt Flo’s unexpected visit causes them to scream bloody murder. Here are our reactions to the original story.
Gutfeld! Flashback: People who want to defund the police called the police about tampons. But this isn’t the first time protesters have made us think about women’s products. Usually they always act like douchebags. However, she chose to waste city resources on tampons and call 911. She should have called me. I know people. I could have…I could have pulled some strings.
Vanderbilt student arrested and suspended for violent protest over anti-Israel voting movement
Now, the joke itself is correct because the protesters themselves are the joke. Well, we’re a major news program that covers news that matters, so we’ll keep you up to date. Some of the students involved were arrested and held a press conference the next day. Look at this chubby laughing head.
student: I was one of the few students arrested inside Kirkland Hall last night. I would like to briefly share my experience and compare it to what I experienced last night. Again, like people said, we had no medical care for 21 hours. We were sleep deprived. We are deprived of food, water and resources. Then, at 5:30 in the morning, I received a pat on the back. I was asked to stand up. I was handcuffed and taken away from my university. I wasn’t told where I was going. I was not told what crime I was being charged with. It’s disgusting to see student protesters treated this way on this campus. Crowd: Too bad!I experienced better conditions in prison than in prison. Vanderbilt University. We had access to water. I had access to a bathroom. I was able to connect with friends and get some rest. Can this university rob us of our basic humanity? We demand that Vanderbilt reinstate the referendum. Drop all charges brought against the student under false pretenses. We want the government to stop suspending and harassing us and immediately apologize for what we’ve been through in the last 24 hours because enough is enough.
Pro-Palestinian protesters interrupt Easter Vigil service in St. Petersburg at St. Patrick’s Cathedral in New York
Oh, did you feel like the tampon was for that guy? I mean, he looked a little fat, and if you’re in the once-a-month period, you might not want to risk going to jail. I don’t know. Try the Red Roof Inn instead. no. But let’s review the facts. According to reports, they illegally entered the building, assaulted security guards and shoved staff who requested to see them, then sat down and refused to leave. So, you fools, how do you think this outrageous act of disobedience ends? Will mommy come and hold you? The idea is to make an arrest. That’s the part you’re singing, we don’t overflow, we overcome. That’s not courage. It’s a tantrum. And I hope potential employers take notice. I’m looking at you, Starbucks. Well, here is a perfect story from another brave freedom fighter in this theater of the absurd.
student: In short, they tried to destroy us. They tried to destroy us. They tried to break our spirits. They won’t do well because they all think as individuals and we think as a group.
Yes, it’s a mountain of horses***. I have news, Beanpole. you are not thinking about anything. Groupthink lends itself to intrasex comedy and The View. If you personally need something to think about, I recommend protein shakes and bench presses. But does this soy boy realize that he has just admitted that they are all a bunch of unintelligent automatons who cannot think for themselves? People who are simply engaged in a risk-free hobby that they feel is meaningful. Here are some more robots privileged from this collective. A group of protesters, at least one wearing a Palestinian scarf, disrupted Easter Mass at St. Patrick’s Cathedral yesterday.
Yeah. That’s a priest who can always play on my pickleball team. What better way to honor the patron saint of the Irish than by kicking some well-meaning strangers? Now, the reason these clowns are able to do this is not only do they not suffer any consequences, they don’t have to deal with any real problems. They have the luxury of distance and ignorance towards beliefs supported by systems they hate. Last time I checked, St. Patrick’s Cathedral was not in the West Bank. But this comes down to extravagant beliefs.
The beliefs held by White Rib. We believe that our everyday material needs are met and should be met in the same way as those with mental and physical disabilities. And when they protest, they are far removed from any cause of the day they are actually embracing. These ego-driven fools won’t be able to find Gaza on a map of Gaza even if they show it on a map. So let’s talk to them directly. Kids, no one in Hamas or even Gaza for that matter knows who you are and doesn’t give you half the crap. In fact, the stupid slogans and slogans you use here against America are never uttered in Gaza. Gazans aren’t worried about Vanderbilt’s investment.
There are no social protests in Gaza. They hate you too. And terrorist groups don’t value the First Amendment. If you tried a social protest in a Hamas-controlled place, you would probably look at October 7th a little differently. And there’s another thing that Hamas probably doesn’t value very much: freedoms like women’s rights. Let’s try to disrupt prayers in the mosques of Gaza. I don’t think there are tampon dispensers in either the women’s or men’s rooms. Of course, whatever crimes these students are accused of, they will likely face punishment. Even if they are weak, it can be deadly. But the truth is, the blame here isn’t just on social justice bastards who don’t realize they’re being parodied.
That’s our system. We reward this. Vanderbilt’s tuition is about $60 a year and ranks in the top 20, so these are our elite, our future leaders. In just a few years, they’ll be running things. When that happens, every hard-won freedom the rest of us have won will be threatened because their extravagant beliefs are not connected to the realities that make them possible. These include public security, borders, neutral media, and the legal system.
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So are they interesting? of course. But perhaps not that much, because there’s much more at stake here than tampons.
