Note: This is a satirical piece.
Biden lied again. You may not have heard of it because traditional corporate media covers him. Biden in turn told Fool about his uncle being eaten by cannibals.
Biden said his “Uncle Bosie” was shot down in a plane flying in combat over New Guinea during World War II and then eaten by cannibals. But because the Department of Defense has the records, the true story has come to light. Uncle Bothy wasn’t flying the plane (he was a passenger), it wasn’t shot down (both engines failed), and it crashed into the Pacific Ocean instead of New Guinea.
And there is no record of a cannibal eating Uncle Bothy.
White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre cleaned up Biden’s lies on the matter. She is furious and tells him to stay in her lane because lying to her people is a sin. she work.
“I think the president had an emotional and symbolic moment,” she said. What a sweet attempt to cover up yet another crazy statement. But to be fair to Karine, the only thing in her so-called “binder” is blaming everything on “systemic racism” or “global warming.” If you overstep that line with a cannibal story, you lose your cover.
In response to a question from FOX News’ Peter Doocy about Biden’s cannibalistic stalkerJean-Pierre said this at a press conference on April 19th. That’s not true, look, I’m not, we shouldn’t joke about this. ” That said, I’m kidding here.
Who among us hasn’t completely fabricated a story about having a relative who was eaten by cannibals? And what better way to honor the memory of a deceased relative than by bringing out the story “He was eaten by cannibals”?
I hope that when I die, my children will honor me by telling people that they were eaten by cannibals. And I hope cannibals find me funny because I write satire.
This seems like a fun lie, considering I’ve been lying and plagiarizing things like college class rankings for years. It’s something we can all enjoy. It shows that Joe is becoming calmer.
I remember when Jeffrey Dahmer once reviewed Burger King on Yelp. He said, “It’s pretty good, but I like Five Guys better.” Most people think that cannibalism is the fault of young people.In Dahmer’s case, his parents realized he was rooting in the wrong place. meanwhile “Silence of the Lambs. “
One reporter actually tried to verify the Biden/Uncle Bothy/New Guinea cannibal story. One man said that would never happen and that he hates Biden. His wife said, “Well, honey, you should try him in the gravy.”
With all of Biden’s fanciful talk, it feels like we’ve heard the plot before. Remember when he was a kid and almost got into a fight with a guy named “Cornpop” at the pool? Ah, good times. If you pay close attention to this story, he may be confusing his own experience with “.west side story”
Understood. All presidents lie, with the famous exception of George Washington. He cut down a cherry tree and his father caught him. George quickly confessed, but the main reason was that he was standing next to a cherry tree with his ax in his hand. This may just be a legend, but it’s still a great story.
There are cannibals all over the world, like Haiti (allegedly), and their gangs run the country. They are politically dominant. If they weren’t called the “Donor Party”, it was simply a missed opportunity.
Our State Department has warned Americans traveling to Haiti: “If you are invited to a dinner party in Haiti, please do not go.” This is the only international “don’t” that Biden’s people think they should follow.
It’s sad in Haiti. Not since the Clinton Foundation has a lawless, money-grabbing, corrupt gang run this country.
Aside from the Donner Party, there were some acts of cannibalism when the first Americans settled in Jamestown. During one particularly harsh winter, there were reports of cannibalism among the settlers. I’m lucky it didn’t catch on. Imagine how different Thanksgiving would be today.
Ron Hart is a liberal editorial humorist, award-winning author, and frequent guest on television and radio. Contact him at Ron@RonaldHart.com or @RonaldHart on Twitter.
The views and opinions expressed in this commentary are those of the author and do not reflect the official position of The Daily Caller.
