Things took a dramatic turn for actress Hayden Panettiere on a Sunday in February 2023, when her brother, fellow actor Jansen Panettiere, was found dead in his New York apartment. He was just 28 years old.
His family later revealed that he died from complications of cardiomegaly (an enlargement of the heart) and aortic valve.
Now, the “Bring It On: All or Nothing” actress is opening up for the first time about losing Jansen, revealing how his death has affected her not only mentally but physically as well.
Hayden Panettiere and family speak out about Jansen's death at 28: 'An unimaginable loss'
Hayden Panettiere and Jansen Panettiere in 2019. (Amanda Edwards)
“He was my only sibling, my little brother, and it was my job to protect him,” Panettiere said. People Magazine for a new cover story. “When I lost him, I felt like I lost half my soul.”
“I remember telling someone, not even a year had passed, 'Don't ever expect to get over losing him,' because no matter how many years pass, he'll always be there for me.”
“I will always be heartbroken about it. I'll never get over it,” Panettiere, now 35, said.
In addition to being an actor, Janssen was also a talented artist. (James Devaney/WireImage)
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“Time certainly heals things, but time also changes your perspective, it changes your questions, it makes you wonder, it makes you notice things you never would have noticed,” she explained.
“Even nowadays, when I see people make a big fuss over the smallest things, I say thank God I expect perfection, but when something this big happens to you, it really teaches you to pick who you fight with and not let the little things upset you, because once in your life, when something this horrible, this serious, just downright devastating happens, there's very little you can really be upset about.”
While she was certainly shaken by Janssen's death, Panettiere says her grief went far beyond instinctual.
“When my brother died, my body did something I'd never seen it do before. Within a few days, it felt like I swelled up,” the actress said of her unexpected weight gain. “That's what happens when you have stress and cortisol rushing through your body. I tried everything. From unhealthy to healthy, it didn't matter what I ate or did. My body was… like it was protecting itself, shielding itself from the world.”
Jansen Panettiere and actress Hayden Panettiere in 2007. (Amy Graves/WireImage/Getty Images)
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“I tried everything. From unhealthy to healthy, it didn't matter what I ate or what I did. It was like my body was protecting itself, shielding me from the world.”
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“I saw horrible paparazzi photos of me coming out of his funeral, which was in a very private place where we grew up. I was shocked,” she said. “I didn't even know who I was… It also brought out the agoraphobia in me, which is something I haven't always suffered from.”
According to the Mayo Clinic, agoraphobia is an anxiety disorder in which a person “fears or avoids places or situations that make them feel panicked, trapped, helpless or embarrassed.”
“I was wearing sweatpants and T-shirts and clothes that didn't fit me well. It took me so long to find something that I was comfortable enough to wear to leave the house and meet friends,” she recalls. “And it got to the point where I was on this really destructive hamster wheel of, 'Do I feel good enough to go out? I don't feel confident enough to go out, but I have to keep moving…I'm never going to get out of this.'”
“I was wearing sweatpants, T-shirts, clothes that didn't fit me well.”
“I was devastated. I wanted to keep working but I didn't want to be miserable on set. I didn't want to go to fittings, look at myself in the mirror and hate everything about how I looked,” she said.
Hayden Panettiere attended the world premiere of Paramount Pictures' Scream VI held at the AMC Lincoln Square Theater on March 6, 2023 in New York City. (Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images)
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With the help of her publicist, Panettiere was introduced to a personal trainer and was able to turn things around.
“Not only did I exercise, but my body started to respond. Exercise helped me release the stress and high expectations I had always had on myself,” she said, which helped her deal with her agoraphobia. “There's nothing better than looking in the mirror and feeling like you're in good enough shape to go outside.”
