Reflections on Parenting and Teenage Risks
Listening to some gut-wrenching stories in New York City has me pondering the complexities of parenting. Like, should we let our kids explore freely in this dangerous world, or should we keep them on a tighter leash?
It’s heartbreaking to hear about the two teenage girls who were found dead on a Saturday morning after they tried surfing the subway. It seems they were chasing viral fame, but the circumstances are tragic, and there’s not much clarity—just a feeling that something went horribly wrong.
Subway surfing kills people. That’s why we use every step of our way to save lives.
When the drone spotted two teenagers trying to surf on the subway, officers immediately took action and safely stopped before the train departed.
Live on your way.
— New York City Police News (@NYPDnews) October 6, 2025
Let’s face it, teenagers often engage in risky behavior—it’s part of their development, pushing boundaries on their journey to adulthood. More often than not, they stumble home unscathed. But this time, those choices led to a grave outcome.
I’ve taken my share of risks; I remember feeling invincible as a kid. Recently, I reflected back and thought, wow, how did I survive some of those crazy stunts? I mean, I once skated down the steepest hill in town without a helmet, only to make a sharp turn at the bottom, unsure if a car was coming. It sounds idiotic now, but at the time, it was thrilling.
Those risky experiences were also a blast. My friend and I spent our days adventuring outside, engaging in slightly perilous hobbies rather than being glued to screens. We bonded over these escapades and, somehow, we came out unscathed.
So how do we strike a balance? How do we encourage our children to scratch their knees, leap over fences, and make friends, while still protecting them from the perils that exist, like fast-moving cars and unsavory characters?
A colleague of mine, Mary Luke, encapsulated it well: kids need to learn bravery, and they can only do that if given a bit of freedom to take risks. Yet, alongside that, they need to be smart about it. For instance, when I was younger, my parents let me swim in the ocean even when the waves were massive. They trusted me, but they always kept an eye on me.
They weren’t hovering but rather guided me. They’d remind me, “If you get caught in a rip current, swim parallel to the shore. Relax, go with the flow, and don’t panic.” Their guidance made me wiser and braver, and honestly, I think that was the ideal approach.
