dear abby: My 18-year-old daughter recently broke up with her boyfriend. She witnessed him talking on the phone with another woman, but there were other signs that he was cheating. She is devastated, and so am I. I really liked the guy, but he clearly didn't care about my daughter or her feelings.
I told my daughter that everything would be fine in time. But it hurts for her because she has so many memories with him. He sent her an apology message but then blocked her. He also blocked her on Instagram. She doesn't know why. I said maybe the other girl told him to do it or he didn't want anything with her anymore. How can I help my daughter through this crisis? love hurts in new york
dear love hurts: Suggest to your daughter that if she has any mementos from this relationship, she should get rid of them or put them out of sight. The same goes for the music that reminds her of him. People overcome these painful experiences by staying busy and not giving themselves time to think. Encourage her to socialize with friends and stay active. As for why this young man blocked her after apologizing, I think he probably apologized out of guilt and blocked her because he wanted to move on.
dear abby: Our daughter and son-in-law live with us. She's painting the interior of her 27-year-old home to update it and would like to spend money updating the cabinets. Every time she tries to make things look good, her father becomes furious and accuses her of trying to take over “his” house before dying. (This is not true.) He says if you ask anyone, everyone will agree with him. He says he is wrong. What should I do? — New life in Indiana
Dear Launching: If your daughter and her husband only want to paint and install new cabinets in occupied areas of the house, your husband should control his anger. If the daughter is trying to do more than that, with the idea that she will someday inherit the family, her husband may be understandably angry. You are all adults. Discuss this and find a way to find a compromise.
dear abby: My mother is starting to drive me crazy. She believes that for me to see myself as a successful career woman, I need a job with stable, consistent hours, health benefits, and a retirement plan.
I have a job, but my hours have been temporarily staggered due to the pandemic. I don't have any benefits, but I can manage my own insurance and retirement benefits. How can I make my mother understand that and stop treating me like a child with no plans for the future? Maryland's desperate situation
Dear Wit's End: It's a mother's job to worry about her children, so please be patient. If your reassurance isn't enough to stop her from speaking out, show her the documentation that supports your claims.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Dear Abby, contact: http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
