Dear Abby: I have 16 months of 16 that I recently learned to walk. My mother watched him one day a week while I worked part time, but in the end she decided it was too much stress on her back and said she could no longer lift him up.
Recently she has said I need to “train” him to see him without lifting him up (e.g. climb into his own car seat). Abby, he’s too young to do something like that consistently.
It is no longer possible for her to put him in his car seat or lift him up to place him in his crib, high chair, etc.
She’s finding another way to make me very pushy and ultimately do more work for me. I think it would be safer and easier to pay a healthy caregiver.
It was stressful to tell her about this as she calls me “crazy” about this. If we’re in the park and he’s doing something dangerous, I’ll pick him up and remove him as he’s not a reliable listener yet.
How can I discuss this with her in a kind and solid way? Is my concern valid? – Lift him in California
Dear Lift: You’re not crazy! Of course, your concerns are valid.
Your son has been away for years from being able to do what your mother is proposing. We conclude these discussions.
She needs to be told kindly, but you need to be told that she knows she loves her grandchild, but he needs more practical care than she can give him. teeth Hire someone to do that.
Dear Abby: I am one of your male readers. My best friend “Will” and his family have been my close friends for nine years. I consider them to be a large family and we do almost everything together.
Two years ago, they bought the house and converted the garage into Will’s brother-in-law’s room.
A year ago, my brother-in-law met a woman I called “Anika.” She sets her place in the family and does everything with Will’s wife and their children.
Will and his wife now have started including her on their trip.
I recently discovered that Annika was tired of hearing that I was traveling with them recently, but she succumbed to Will to let me go.
I feel like I’m being kicked out of the family I know and love by this new girlfriend. How do you handle this? – Pushed aside in the east
Dear Push: For nine years, tell them you are close friends with him and his family, you have grown to consider them as your extended family.
Then tell him that Annika has called your attention that you don’t want you to include in that last outing and asked him if he knows why.
Did you in any way make her mad? She may be jealous of the relationship you’ve had with Will and his stepbrother for a long time and don’t want to share her boyfriend, or his family.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069 at Dearabby.com.
