Dear Abby

My husband and I have been married for two decades. We’re a blended family with eight children, but lately, it’s just been the two of us.

Our kids are all over the country, and in these 20 years, we’ve never taken a vacation just for ourselves. Our trips have always been about visiting family.

But now, after all the saving and planning, our dream trip to Disneyland is finally happening! The catch? Our youngest son has moved to Los Angeles.

I have everything booked—tickets, a tour, and a dinner for just the two of us. However, my husband insists on including our son in all our park visits and meals.

Don’t get me wrong. I adore my kids, but I was really hoping for some quality “us” time.

I agreed to one dinner with my son, but beyond that, I want our trip to focus on us. My husband is nearby, and it’s tempting to involve him in everything.

Now, he’s saying he doesn’t want to go at all unless our son is part of everything. I want this trip to be just about us—we deserve it! How can I get him to see how important this is? — Disappointed in Ohio

Dear Disappointed: You shouldn’t have to convince your husband to go on a dream vacation you planned. He should have talked to you before inviting his son along for everything.

You mentioned you saved for years for this trip. How does he plan to cover the extra costs that come with inviting someone else?

If he’s not interested in a “just the two of us” experience, maybe it’s time for you to consider planning something just for you. You’ve earned it.

Another Letter

Dear Abby: I was engaged to my husband for three years before we tied the knot. A little over a year ago, I found out I had only two years to live.

Six months later, we celebrated our 25th anniversary, but just ten days after that, he passed away.

Recently, I met a man two years younger than me. He brings joy back into my life and makes me feel youthful again. He wants us to live together, and he’s suggested sharing a bedroom upstairs.

I’ve been sleeping downstairs and am uncertain if I should let him share my bed. What do you think? — Feeling a little scared in Indiana

Dear Feeling: Is this man going to share expenses, help with food, or cover other costs? If he aims to be a platonic roommate but you feel a physical attraction, it might be wise to reconsider the arrangement.

This situation could become frustrating and complicated. If it does, you might end up needing legal help to disentangle things.

What seems appealing now could end up being a real hassle. It might be best to maintain the current setup until you have a clearer view of the relationship.