Dear Abby

I have a son with special needs, and traveling with him isn’t something I can manage. I’ve been in a committed relationship for two years. When my aunt’s youngest daughter got married last year, I made it clear that I couldn’t attend because of my situation. Now, her son is getting married, and the family sent out an electronic invitation with a plus one option. Since my son will be with his parents during the wedding, I filled out the RSVP with my name and my partner’s name.

However, I was informed that the plus one was meant only for my son, and I can’t bring my partner, even though he would support me during the trip. I find this quite disrespectful. It’s like they are disregarding my boundaries and my son’s needs.

I’m considering not going. Is that wrong? I really want to explain why I’m choosing not to attend. It’s frustrating to feel obligated to sacrifice my family’s happiness for others. – Pain in the Midwest

Dear Pain: Your aunt and her family should understand your son’s significant challenges. Are your parents expected to manage his care during the wedding? Do they know about the role your partner plays in assisting with your son? If the answer is yes, then it seems the invitation was less an invitation and more of an expectation. Politely decline.

Dear Abby

My husband and I married three years ago, both having lost a spouse to cancer. He had a house, and I had one, too. Once my house was paid off, I suggested he move in with me so that he could rent out his place and reduce his mortgage burden. This would help him save for retirement.

Here’s the thing: I handle all the costs. He contributes $400 a month for utilities and groceries, but it barely covers what I end up spending. I’m tapping into my savings, which is stressful. I love him, and he loves me, but this financial strain is becoming too much.

I could talk to him about it, but money seems to be a touchy subject for him, and I worry it might jeopardize our relationship. How can I bring this up without causing issues? I’ve dropped hints, but he doesn’t seem to pick up on them. – Broken in Indiana

Dear Broken: Stop dropping hints and be direct! Let him know that your savings are dwindling due to rising costs. It’s time for you both to create a more realistic budget together. If he truly cares about you, he’ll understand. However, if money takes precedence over your well-being, it’s better to find that out sooner rather than later.

Dear Abby was created by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was established by her mother, Pauline Phillips. For more information, contact Dear Abby via the website.