Welcome to Good Life, a newsletter focused on navigating the complexities of modern culture while maintaining our sanity. This week, let’s explore how sometimes the kindest thing we can do for our children is to encourage them to face challenges they might not want to tackle.
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As parents, it’s our duty to dismantle any barriers that may prevent our children from reaching their full potential.
For a year now, my younger daughter has been eager to play basketball with older students. Our school’s girls’ teams often struggle to fill their rosters, making her chances of joining the middle school team seem promising, but not guaranteed.
Last week marked the start of varsity practices for my high school students, and I reminded them to reach out to their middle school coaches about including 6th-grade girls. Thankfully, the decision was made to welcome younger players, and my daughter eagerly signed up. When she got home, she was absolutely beaming, calling everyone to share her news as if she had just won a championship.
However, the next day brought an unexpected twist. After an intense conditioning practice, she became overwhelmed with nerves and ended up being sick. Seeing her deflated spirit when she got into the car was tough. Her coach spoke with us, reassuring her of her potential and encouraging her to return, which I thought might be the end of the ordeal. I recalled how my oldest son had faced a similar challenge, needing just a bit of motivation to get back on track. But I underestimated how this would affect her.
That evening, I watched as the bright girl who had come home earlier morphed into a distressed bundle of nerves. I discovered she was facing some teasing from a teammate, a situation that’s lingered for quite some time. This girl had been taunting my daughter about her earlier incident, questioning whether she’d still show up for practice.
It was heart-wrenching to see how these jabs impacted her confidence. She’s shown talent in every sport she’s participated in, earning respect from her coaches. So why was she letting this one person make her doubt herself?
I gave her my usual pep talk, reminding her, “You’re the new girl, and that matters.” I wanted to bolster her confidence. When I asked her to call me if any issues arose at practice, she responded positively, even packing her bag for the next session.
But then, just 30 minutes before practice, my phone rang.
“Hey, Doodle-chan, what’s up?” I asked.
“Mommy, my stomach hurts, my feet hurt, and I think I hurt my big toe,” she replied.
In that moment, I had to figure out how to respond. She’s a strong kid on the outside but has a tender heart. I paused before asking her to articulate what she truly wanted from me. I painfully realized that giving in wouldn’t help her in the long run.
“Mom, I don’t want to go to practice today,” she finally admitted.
Hearing her say that struck me hard. She started to tear up, and I felt an urge to scoop her up and say it was okay to skip practice. But deep down, I knew that wouldn’t be right.
“You have to go,” I said. “If you don’t, they might think you’re weak. You’ve committed to this.” I couldn’t let her quit.
She pleaded again, but ultimately, she understood she’d need to participate. We exchanged “I love yous,” and I hung up, anxiety creeping in as I worried about how she would fare.
Three long hours passed as I sat in the parking lot, contemplating everything—had she managed? Did the teasing return? What would happen when I picked her up?
When she finally came into view, I felt overwhelmed, almost afraid to look. However, when I did, I saw her smiling brightly, just as she had when she signed up. It felt like my heart might burst with relief.
Our children have much more capacity than we often realize. We tend to let them quit when they’re hesitant, but helping them push through tough moments not only benefits them; it’s a necessary lesson in commitment and resilience.
As we drove home, I reflected on my decision. I wasn’t trying to be harsh; rather, I aimed to empower her to realize she could triumph over challenges, all while being supported by her family.
What caught my attention this week:
Sidney Sweeney’s insightful comments during a recent GQ interview caught widespread attention. Jeff Ingersoll examines her responses, showcasing her ability to address criticism with poise. It’s worth checking out.
If you have feedback about the newsletter, feel free to reach out. I can’t always respond, but I appreciate reading your thoughts. Building this community has been one of the most rewarding aspects of this journey.
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This content has been adapted from a Weekly Good Life newsletter discussing our navigations through modern culture.
