Dear Abby: I am allergic to various scents, including perfumes, colognes, and laundry detergents. If you get caught up in someone’s cloud, your sinuses and lungs will burn, causing a momentary wheezing sound and coughing.
My husband’s friend bathes in a scent similar to home cleansing powder. It’s so strong that we can both smell it in our house for over a week after his visit. I avoid her friend like the plague and hide on the other side of the house with the door closed, but I still suffer from allergic reactions. Sorry for being so graphic, but my nose bleeds when I smell his caustic scent.
My husband refuses to tell his friends about the health problems I suffer from after their visits. He doesn’t want to be “rude” and make the other person uncomfortable or uncomfortable.how is it myself• Do not go near the upholstered furniture that your friend is sitting on for more than a week.
There is no reason in the world that I should suffer in my own home. Next time he comes to visit, I’m afraid I’ll explode in anger and embarrass everyone involved. Could you please advise how to tell his friend that he stinks without being rude? — California Suffering
Dear Suffering: It’s not a violation of etiquette to tell someone you have an allergy problem that you’ve been hesitant to discuss for fear of being rude.call a friend in front Next time you visit, explain that one of the products he uses causes an allergic reaction and causes nosebleeds. Then ask him not to wear it when he’s at your house. This may be an uncomfortable conversation for you, but it’s essential to have it.
Dear Abby: Since my daughter left home, got married, and had children, she has become a different person. She doesn’t treat my wife like her mother. They used to be good friends, but now it seems like her wife can’t do anything properly. She cannot post photos of her grandchildren when others can. She also cannot hug or kiss her grandchildren when others can post. She asks what she did to get this treatment, and her daughter replies, “I don’t know.”
My wife wants to be a typical grandma and love, spoil, and have a relationship with her grandchildren, but she is always pushed away. I am really worried about her daughter because when her wife gets hurt, it hurts me too. Forget about her wife, she plans to move on. what should we do? — Frustrated Grandparents
Dear Frustrated: Your daughter may be worried that the children will love grandma more than themselves. You may ask your daughter if she is open to family counseling, but don’t be surprised if she isn’t. If I’m correct, your idea of moving on and finding other interests with your girlfriend’s wife to fill that empty space is not bad.
If she wants to be with young children and needs to fill that time, perhaps something like grandparent adoption, where volunteers work as aides at schools, day care centers, Head Start programs, and family support centers. You may also be able to participate as a volunteer in the program. For more information, visit americorps.gov.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Dear Abby, contact: http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
