Dear Abby: I’ve been dating the same man for almost 5 years. During his first three years, I was crazy about him, but after my daughter was born, things gradually changed. We hadn’t been close for a while. I have some women’s issues that I would like to deal with, and on top of that, I am no longer physically attracted to him. He makes little comments about it to make me feel bad. It is impossible to talk to him, because he does not want to talk about anything.
We broke up a few months ago but got back together. He moved all his stuff out and now he makes me feel guilty and he tells me he doesn’t have anything and our house isn’t his anymore. . By the way, he doesn’t pay for his living expenses such as rent or food. He doesn’t work so I pay for everything. Still, I have to give him money for his gambling addiction.
I don’t want to be with him anymore. But the last time we broke up, he was extremely abusive and I don’t want to go through that again. What should I do? — Indecision in Illinois
For those of you who are indecisive: Tell him you don’t want to be his sugar momma anymore. He will have to find someone to support him and fund his gambling addiction. Please never do this when it’s just the two of you. Be sure to bring a few friends and relatives with you for moral support and to help him collect everything that is in your house.
That might curb his outbursts. After that, change the lock on the door and never enter the house again. If he forces his way in, call the police. If you don’t get rid of him, he will drain you.
Dear Abby: My in-laws live 90 minutes away, so when they come to visit, they usually stay with us for a night or two. I don’t mind hosting them. They are fun people and always have a good time. However, now that I’m getting older, I’m curious about what bedtime etiquette is.
We don’t have a guest bedroom so they sleep on a pull out couch with a pillow topper. They’ve never mentioned it, but I know it’s not that comfortable and I know they have age-related aches and pains.
When I was a child and my grandparents stayed over, they always slept in my sister’s double bed, and my sister slept on the floor in the room I shared with my other sister.
Would it be a good idea to offer my son’s double bed to my in-laws in the future? (Providing the master bedroom seems odd.)
I am fortunate to have wonderful in-laws and I want to follow them and do the right thing. After all, it’s just a night or two. What do you recommend I do? — New Jersey Comfort Creatures
Dear Comfort Creatures: Ask your in-laws if it would be more comfortable if you changed your sleeping position. If they say yes, discuss it with your son, explain the problem, and tell him that he would like to sleep on the pull-out sofa bed when the grandparents visit.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Dear Abby, contact: http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
