Dear Abby: I really messed up by relocating 2,000 miles to be closer to my grandchildren. I’ve noticed that my son and stepdaughter seem to treat other grandparents much better than they do me. They roll out the red carpet for my stepdaughter’s parents, organizing outings, snapping photos, and sharing sweet moments on Facebook. But, there’s never a picture of me with my grandchild. It’s hard to spend time together since my stepdaughter is always rushing off to do something else. It feels like she wants her parents to have this exclusive bond with their grandchild.
Dear Outsider: The feelings you’re experiencing sound really difficult. You should have a conversation with your son about this. Did you discuss your move with him and his wife beforehand, or did you just spring it on them? If they were open to it but still excluded you, then that’s worth addressing. Family counseling might help facilitate better interactions if they are agreeable. If not, and if you’re unable to connect with your grandchild as you wish, perhaps consider relocating again to where you feel less isolated.
Dear Abby: When I express sympathy by saying “I’m sorry” about someone’s tough situation, I often hear responses like “It’s not your fault” or “No need to apologize.” This happened again today. To me, “sorry” means expressing sadness or regret, not necessarily an apology.
I find these reactions bothersome, even disrespectful. I’d appreciate it if you could advise your readers to understand the intent behind “I’m sorry.” It’s usually clear whether someone is apologizing or merely sympathizing. – Apologies in the West
Dear Apology: Everyone has their pet peeves, and this is yours. But I doubt many will change their responses based on one letter in my column. Next time it happens, try telling them you’re expressing sympathy, not apologizing. A smile might help ease the situation.
