Dear Abby: My husband and I have been married for two years. Unfortunately, we rushed into marriage before we got to know each other very well. When we have a disagreement, he gives me the silent treatment for days. In some cases, it can last several weeks.
He doesn't eat what I cook or help around the house. When I am in one room, he is locked in another room. He sleeps on the couch or a pull-out mattress. Eventually he ends it by going back to our bed and trying to start intimacy. I usually accept, but the issue is never resolved or discussed, I just move on. When I try to discuss the issue, he says, “Don't start!”
I'm tired of his childish behavior. We have a 7 month old baby and children from a previous marriage, so it has become increasingly difficult to be away from him. He's not the type to go to therapy. He will admit that we have communication issues, but that's to a degree. I am no longer interested in my marriage and would be willing to leave it if I had the money. Help me. — Silent Treatment in the Northeast
Dear Silent Treatment: Just because your husband doesn't want to go to therapy doesn't mean you shouldn't go to therapy. When you tell him you're planning some kind of session, expect him to come up with a dozen reasons why you “don't need it” or go into a silence phase again. Therapy for you will be enlightening and will help you decide how long you want to endure an increasingly unbearable life situation.
Dear Abby: We recently attended a wedding of a close family member from my husband's side. Everything seemed to be going well until the next day when I shared a snapshot of our beautiful day with my stepdaughter.
I immediately received a so-called form letter from her via text. The content was as follows. As the holiday season approaches, we send this message to our closest family members. With flu season approaching and coronavirus cases on the rise, we're asking everyone not to kiss their babies. This is also a warning not to take or post photos of your baby. We have taken many beautiful photos of her and would be happy to send them to you if you would like. Our goal is to minimize her media presence until she is old enough to consent to how her photo is used. ”
When I talked to other family members, I realized that no one was getting this message. I got hurt. I had a great day at a family function and photographed the event and my grandchildren. There is a message here telling you not to take pictures of her. I don't know how to deal with this. — Delight Destroyed in the West
Dear Joy Destroyed: Since you were the only one taking the photo, you were the only one who received the message. Parents have the right to decide whether to post photos of their children on social media. Before you post, be sure to ask if it's okay to post photos of events and children. Now that you know how your stepdaughter feels about it, “address the issue” by apologizing for any mistakes you may have made.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440 (Los Angeles, CA 90069).
