Rethinking Veganism After Talking to Ex-Vegans

Having been vegan for more than ten years, I used to be quite judgemental about those who decided to quit. I’d come across “why I’m no longer vegan” videos and think they just weren’t dedicated enough.

But upon taking the time to engage with former vegans, my perspective shifted dramatically. I reached out to 50 individuals who had maintained a vegan lifestyle for at least a year before stepping away. What I discovered was more intricate than I expected, and frankly, more insightful for those of us who are still on the journey.

1. Social Isolation Was the Main Issue

Twenty-three people noted that social isolation played a huge role in their decision to quit. This wasn’t just the typical “restaurants are tough” kind of isolation. It cut deep, affecting friendships and family gatherings.

One woman remarked that her book club stopped inviting her after she politely chose not to attend their potlucks. Another guy mentioned his college friends ceased to include him in their hangouts.

What struck me was that these weren’t people being obstinate about their vegan lifestyle; rather, they existed in environments that weren’t accommodating. Their isolation stemmed from being perceived as the one who complicates things, even when they tried not to.

This realization resonated with me. Thankfully, I had a supportive partner and lived in a vegan-friendly city, but not everyone is so fortunate.

2. Health Concerns Without Clear Support

Seventeen individuals cited health issues as a factor. However, only four had actually consulted with a doctor or nutritionist experienced with plant-based diets.

The others often self-diagnosed or sought help from professionals who hastily attributed their health woes, from fatigue to hair loss, to veganism.

One person shared that their doctor urged them to consume meat for iron, despite never doing a proper assessment. Another experienced digestive problems and presumed it was related to beans, unaware that their gut was struggling with a sudden increase in fiber.

I’m not suggesting veganism suits everyone, but it seems many didn’t receive the necessary guidance to discern if the diet was genuinely the issue. Instead, they were simply told to eat meat and felt a sense of relief in getting permission to quit.

3. Negative Experiences Within the Vegan Community

This was tough to hear, but twelve participants pointed out unpleasant interactions with other vegans. One person faced online criticism after posting a meal because an ingredient wasn’t organic.

Another individual asked a legitimate question about B12 and was labeled a fake vegan.

The pressure for purity is real, and it negatively impacts people. When you’re already feeling stressed or isolated, the community meant to support you can end up being critical instead. One former vegan expressed feeling more judgment from vegans than from meat-eaters.

I’ve often called this intense behavior “passionate advocacy,” but passion that diminishes others isn’t advocacy. It’s merely mean-spirited under a moral guise.

4. Major Life Events Made Veganism Challenging

Eleven individuals opted out during significant life changes such as pregnancy, new demanding jobs, or financial struggles. When life becomes overwhelming, sticking to veganism can feel like another chore.

This is especially true if you’ve bought into the idea that being vegan means perfection.

A new mom mentioned feeling too exhausted to meal prep and her family constantly bringing her chicken soup. Each time she ate it, guilt washed over her, but she needed sustenance. Eventually, she just stopped trying. Another person found that working three jobs made the free pizza at work impossible to resist.

These aren’t failures; they’re people navigating tough times and making the best decisions they can. Yet, the rigid all-or-nothing messaging in vegan communities often overlooks this complexity.

5. Lacking a Personal Connection to the Reasons

Eights individuals went vegan because it seemed like the trendy or healthy choice, but they never connected with the underlying ethical or environmental motivations. Once the novelty wore off or challenges arose, they lacked a deeper reason to stay committed.

One person went vegan after watching a documentary but didn’t engage with the topic afterward. When questioned by friends, they couldn’t provide any answers. When faced with difficulties, they didn’t have a motivating reason to persevere. They practiced veganism without purpose.

This taught me a vital lesson: it’s essential to help people discover their own reasons for choosing veganism, rather than merely spoon-feeding them ideas. A personal connection to their motivations fosters lasting commitment.

6. The Financial Burden Was Greater Than Anticipated

Seven individuals highlighted costs, but not as I expected. They weren’t just saying vegetables were pricey. They talked about living in food deserts or being unable to access good grocery options after relocating.

One woman, for instance, resided in a small town where fresh produce was scarce. Ordering specialty items online became unreasonably expensive. She felt trapped between her convictions and her reality.

Another person’s work schedule made them reliant on convenience foods, with vegan options costing significantly more than regular ones.

Veganism can certainly be affordable, but it demands more than just money—that includes time, access, knowledge, and energy. Not everyone has all of these resources available at once.

Final Thoughts

Looking back, I used to think those who quit veganism simply lacked commitment.

Now I realize many felt let down by the systems around them, including within the vegan community. They needed understanding, flexibility, and support, but instead encountered judgment and unachievable standards.

If we hope to encourage more individuals to pursue and maintain a vegan lifestyle, we must foster a movement that genuinely accommodates real-life challenges.

This means valuing progress over perfection, providing authentic support rather than purity tests, and appreciating that a person navigating difficult circumstances deserves respect more than someone who had an easier path and opted out when faced with adversity.

The aim shouldn’t be to keep individuals vegan through feelings of guilt or elitism. Instead, we should foster an environment where being vegan is widespread, supported, and accessible. The insights from these 50 individuals illuminate that we still have work to do, and understanding their experiences might help advance our goals.