The skin care boom is at its peak.
Semen appears to be the controversy that ruined the wet and wild romance of the pioneer of self-care trends.
“I started using my boyfriend’s sperm every morning, storing it in ice cube trays for easy use,” Brazilian skin influencer Marelie, 27, told Need to Know Online about her innovative breakout.
The generous slathering of bodily fluids on her skin gave this attractive woman a lustrous glow, but Mallery’s constant need for stimulation eventually repelled her man.
“Over time, our relationship began to cool,” lamented the recently single cyber babe. “It seemed like he was only there to provide sperm for my face.”
The perky Sweetie gooey treatment is currently all the rage among eternally young dreamers who don’t mind slipping into a tiny swimsuit.
In fact, Jennifer Aniston, 54, is just one of many top anti-aging stars who have admitted to using salmon sperm to maintain her flawless, youthful-looking face.
The unashamed former Friends star admitted she’d “try almost anything” to maintain her fresh appeal.
Rooted in Korean beauty trends, the salmon sperm wash is thought to boost collagen production, increase cell turnover, reduce inflammation, and improve pigmentation.
Seoul-based skincare brand expert, Peach & Lilyclaims that DNA extracted from fish components “has powerful regenerative properties, penetrating deep into the skin rather than just on the surface, working from within, promoting cell turnover, firming the skin and maintaining its elasticity.”
But the benefits of this mucus aren’t just limited to the person you’re kissing.
Women are also paying more than $500 to have salmon sperm injected into their vaginas, a junky injection that is said to improve their stagnant sex lives by stimulating arousal and inducing orgasms.
But rather than seeking that essence from sea creatures, Mallery was happy to embrace her lover.
“At first he thought it was funny, even helpful,” said the brunette, who declined to name her ex-husband, who soon grew to resent his role as an unconventional cosmetics purveyor.
“He began to wonder if I loved him or was just interested in the sperm he could provide,” she lamented. “He felt like more of a provider than a partner, and that weakened our relationship with each passing day.”
On-demand ejaculation made it all more exciting.
“He felt disrespected and began to question my feelings, which led to a lot of arguments,” Mallery recalled. “Using sperm in my skincare routine really helped my skin, but it was too costly for our relationship.”
“After a while, he even told me he was a little put off by the idea of me using sperm as a beauty product,” she added.
Mallery eventually called it quits.
This super sexy heartbreaker is back on the market once again in search of “new suppliers” who are willing to get a little dirty for the sake of clean, clear skin.
But for now, I’ll be content with a high-quality organic scrub.
“I’m on the lookout for new, natural alternatives for skin care that won’t complicate my love life,” Mallery says.
