Dear Abby: Five years ago, I was diagnosed with GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder). It often manifests itself in sudden outbursts of anger when you’re stressed. I have three sisters, two of whom are bossy and try to take over and control the smallest things. I’ve always had a difficult relationship with one of them. When she stresses me out, I tend to quickly take out my anger on her.
The other day we were in a stressful situation and I ended up taking out my anger on my girlfriend. I then apologized and explained her concerns. She replied that it’s not my insecurities, she doesn’t want to accept any of her help because I want to be the boss. Then she ordered me to do something exactly as she wanted.
I want to cut ties with her because she is affecting my mental health and sanity. But she’s still my little sister, and there are times when I have to be by her side. please let me know. — Worried West Virginia
To everyone suffering from anxiety You’re not going to change your sister. Her obsession with control is ingrained within her. Avoid her girlfriend as much as possible. However, if there are circumstances where this is not possible, be polite and maintain a certain distance. Don’t argue with her. Please remember. Just because someone tells you to do something doesn’t mean you have to do it.
Now that you have been diagnosed with GAD, I hope you understand that there are treatments available: medication and talk therapy. If your symptoms affect other relationships, consider talking about it with the health care professional who diagnosed you.
Dear Abby: I’m 29 years old and lost my father last year. I am writing this letter to ask how I can help my 5-year-old son understand death better. He misses his grandpa and cries. Sometimes he tells me he remembers his father well, but other times he says he doesn’t remember. I am very worried that he is repressing his father’s memories and I don’t want him to do that.
My son has many fond memories from his childhood. I tried to show him a picture of him and his father together, but tonight he mixed up memories with another grandpa. I tried to talk to him, but he wouldn’t open up. How can I get him to open up and remember? — Memories from Indiana
To those who remember: Your son is 5 years old. Of course I miss his grandfather. But no matter how much you want it, it’s unrealistic to expect him to cling to every memory of the short time you spent together. You may want to consult a child psychologist about this.
You can’t force a boy to remember, and trying to do so or making him feel guilty can actually be harmful. Books about death are written for children. Consider purchasing one or more for your boy.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440 (Los Angeles, CA 90069).
