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I want to have sex with my doorman but we’re both married

Dear Abby: I love my doorman. I’m married and older than him. He’s married too. I’ve known him for years and I flirt with him all the time. He flirts back and makes me blush.

One day, he came to my apartment to help me with something. I wore a see-through slip on purpose. I wanted to kiss him. I noticed him staring at me, but he was very polite and didn’t try to do anything. I’m not sure if I should try to kiss him next time or just stay away from him. He really annoys me. — Great love in New York

Dear Lover: You owe the doorman an apology for what you did. If you care about this guy at all, don’t put his job at risk by doing more than this. This adventure won’t have a happy ending.

Dear Abby: My stepdaughter has an 11 year old daughter whom I call “Christina”. Christina is very well behaved but in our home we are taught that love is measured in money. She is constantly hinting at gifts and treats she wants. It has gotten so bad that when I leave her, I end up putting off running errands because she always finds what she needs or wants in every store.

I don’t mind buying her things every now and then, but the items I buy are sometimes returned to the store or sold to her mother. Christina is an only child, but she is not my only grandchild.

When I buy gifts for the other grandchildren I have to hide them because Christina thinks they are hers. When Christina sees money on my dresser she talks about how much cash other people have given her. Christina eats from the candy dish without asking permission and sometimes wonders how many presents her dead relatives would have given her if they were still alive.

Then there’s her birthday. Every year after Christmas, she starts hinting that her birthday is coming up. Abby, she was born in July! For six months, she mentions it in almost every conversation, almost without exception, until she’s convinced I’ve bought her a present. I’ve tried different responses, but she just doesn’t get the hint.

Please don’t encourage her to talk to her parents about this because they will spend money they don’t need to buy her gifts and they will have a hard time paying the bills. Also, they don’t seem to appreciate what we do for them and they don’t always say thank you. If you have any other advice, please let me know. — Tired of operating

For those of you who are tired: Please talk to Christina’s parents again. This time, tell them: that’s right As you told me, her main topic of conversation is what she would like to receive for the next gift-giving occasion. ObsessiveTell her bluntly that you feel like your daughter sees you as a toy vending machine rather than a loving grandparent, and that this makes you uncomfortable.

And if they won’t get the message across — if it helps save face for Christina — then you should. If you go along with the status quo, her bad behavior will only continue.

Dear Reader: Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers out there: biological fathers, stepfathers, adoptive fathers, foster parents, grandfathers, and all the caring men who mentor and serve as father figures for their children.

P.S. Also, a big shout out to all the moms out there who juggle jobs: I applaud you today and every day. With love, Abby

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren (aka Jean Phillips) and launched by her mother, Pauline Phillips. To contact Dear Abby, please contact us at http://www.DearAbby.com or write to PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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