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I was so in love with my wife, but on our wedding night we knew it was a mistake

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“Sex on the first date.” This isn't the ideal way to start a marriage, and you probably know that. What many people may not know is that just because your marriage started badly, it doesn't necessarily mean it will end badly.

Our marriage was never perfect, and I'm sure neither is yours. During the first 27 years of our marriage, we searched to find ourselves through drugs, alcohol, multiple affairs, and failed attempts at self-help, but our marriage was no longer with us. We arrived when we realized that it was not just about us. . We had to make some serious choices. Our legacy to our children, grandchildren, and generations to come was at stake.

We met in August 1981 and Kath became pregnant with the first of our three children in December of that year. We married her in February 1982. We were very much in love when we started dating, but by the wedding night we both realized we had made a mistake.

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We came from completely unrelated backgrounds. My broken childhood taught me that my own survival is the priority, that success is everything, and that working harder is the key to both. I was, but unfortunately success made me selfish and controlling.

Tim Bush and his wife Kathy have published a new book about how to save a broken marriage by God's grace.

Cass had a different upbringing. Her father was home most nights and she saw her father interacting with her mother and actually listening to her mother's stories. I couldn't follow that image. I had never seen it before. To make matters worse, we barely communicated. I thought we were fine as long as we had sex, but now that Kath has married a very controlling man, namely me, she has become isolated and unable to raise her voice. Ta.

I went to couples counseling to set my wife straight. I should have gone to fix myself.

We went to multiple counselors over the years. I went to heal my wife. I thought I was normal and lucky that she had me, so I made as many changes as were necessary to make her feel better for a little while. Cass, on the other hand, worked on herself, but nothing improved for long anyway.

I hit roadblock after roadblock. Our marriage has been a roller coaster of highs and highs and lows, but the lows were so bad that I secretly went outside of our marriage and in all the wrong places. I was looking for encouragement.

Tim and Kathy Bush's new book about rescuing troubled marriages.

Tim and Kathy Bush's new book about rescuing troubled marriages.

In 2005, Cath returned to school. I didn't agree with her decision. My control was threatened because she was over 3 hours drive from her home, but with the encouragement of others, she left her home for 8 months. I was drawn to the new version of her because she had good grades in her grades, even though she made some bad choices towards the end of school.

When she had a few one-night stands under the influence of alcohol, she asked me to forgive her. She said she did it because she thought her infidelity was God's retribution for what I had done, without her knowing. However, just a few days later, I witnessed her on the phone with her past lover. I was finished, but Cath wasn't.

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She started counseling and said she would do whatever it took to make our marriage work. We both committed. During this time, she started a business and my own business flourished as well. I have made more money than ever before as a result of investing heavily in building my kingdom on earth. Then my world collapsed and I was taken as well.

I had reached my limit. I let go and knelt down to pray.

Tim and Kathy Bush are the proud parents of three children, three stepchildren, eight grandchildren, and a dog.

Tim and Kathy Bush are the proud parents of three children, three stepchildren, eight grandchildren, and a dog.

In 2008, my 43-year-old brother was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and given only months to live. Shortly after the diagnosis, my 22-year-old nephew passed away. After his funeral, a flu-like illness started and I fell into anxiety and depression.

Faced with the possibility of suicide, I tried to cope using both legal and illegal drugs. I ended up drinking five glasses of alcoholic beverages in one day, and for the first time in my life, I was unable to work. That year, I knelt and prayed exactly where I needed to. I finally realized that I needed to look to God and take responsibility for myself, my marriage, and my family instead of trying to fix my wife.

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We both surrendered to Jesus, read God's Word, prayed…together…and set boundaries to protect our marriage. The end result of it all was and still is a prosperous marriage blessed with our girlfriend's three children, who are now adults and have families of their own.

Our book, Sex on the First Date, details our journey of forgiveness and healing. It also has tools to help you wherever you are in your marriage. If your marriage is good, it can get even better. If your marriage isn't working out, you don't have to stay that way. We are living proof.

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