I think it's a type of what people call “traditional marriage,” but there are twists and turns.. I met my husband when I was 25 years old. I dropped out of college, dabbled in drugs and alcohol, and my self-esteem hit rock bottom.
One night I ended up at a party with some strangers, someone slipped something into my drink, and I lost all memory until I woke up the next morning on the couch in a stranger's apartment. . He rescued me and took me to his place. I didn't leave his apartment for three months, except to take me out to dinner and make me go to the gym to get back in shape.
We got married a few months later and are still very happily married 15 years later. In terms of looks, he's a 10. In terms of intelligence, it's a 10. Good guy, 11 years old.
he has a job that pays money Well, we live a really great lifestyle. I haven't worked since I met him and I love it. he cooks, cleaning and Book our holiday Even though I get depressed in the winter, she sometimes sends me somewhere warm in January.
My friends always tease me because I am a completely protected woman. In some cases, teasing is Born out of envy, many women think I am completely sold out to my gender. I love my friends, but right now I'm avoiding them because I don't feel comfortable being myself. Can you tell me how to get my friends to accept me as I am?
Eleanor says: It may not be so much about deciding your lifestyle as it is about not having many common experiences to talk about. No matter how filthy your husband is, the fact that you are his wife is probably the least interesting thing about you to your friends. they are interested in spending time together you. Perhaps feeling more accepted in these friendships isn't about changing the other person's attitude toward your marriage, but about how your marriage changes the way the other person views you.
Only personality and traits can foster adult friendships. When people no longer experience the same experiences or problems, “basically getting along” isn't always enough to maintain a relationship. Lifestyle changes us and changes the way we think.
This is caused by the gap between rich and poor. Career gaps can cause it. An anxiety gap in life can cause such a thing. This is when only one party feels responsible for deciding what happens next.
It sounds like the strength of your marriage means that many of those gaps appear at once. If you're not struggling with career relationships, bosses, money, or the fatigue of life decisions, you'll have less in common with people who are. And when I say “common ground,” I don't just mean the way fly fishers like to talk to other fly fishers. That means there are many frameworks of the world that you don't share, such as how working shifts your relationships into evenings and weekends, and how wearing professional attire changes your understanding of yourself. .
You ask how you can get your friend to accept you for who you are. If I'm right, getting them to accept aspects of your “traditional marriage” may actually be the lowest thing on the list. What if instead of trying to get them to accept the least relevant parts of you, you spent more time emphasizing their parts? do Do you understand? What drew you to this friendship in the first place? What were you like before you got married (and before you were unhappy)? One of the best things about old friends is that they remind you of who you always were. you. How can you express these parts of yourself, the parts that form the basis of friendship and make the other person want to get to know you?
Try to meet your own expectations as well. You have painted a picture of a comfortable, happy, job-free, financially fulfilling life. You can say you've been pretty lucky, but the only thing more infuriating than the lucky lottery is when people pretend they didn't win the lottery. Teasing their chin may be the price you pay for having fewer material problems than them. Granted, maybe it's better not to tease. Maybe you feel sensitive. But would you rather keep your life and be made fun of, or change your life? If the answer is “keep it the way it is,” then that might be the deal you have to make. yeah.
Letters from readers have been edited for length.
