Dear Abby: Monthly Visits and Missing Items
I’ve been having issues with my sister who comes to visit once a month. She drives about four hours to get here, and she brings her friend and husband along since they’re my only company. I used to look forward to these visits, but now they’re just stressful. It seems like things always go missing after they leave—like hairbrushes, my dog’s nail file, random dishes, and even laundry supplies.
One time, I hid a pack of laundry detergent, and she found it. I confronted her, and she got defensive, insisting she’d never take anything from me. When I mentioned some missing beads, she acted like she had no clue what I was talking about.
After that, I didn’t see her for about three months. We patched things up, but then it happened again! Her husband seems to know what’s going on. I even tried to set a little trap for her friend once, but she didn’t take anything. My sister used to wash her laundry at my place to save on utilities, but I’ve put a stop to that. I really don’t know how to handle this situation with her. — Disappearance Acts in New Mexico
Dear Missing Act:
If your sister’s friend is fine, that leaves your sister, or “Sissy.” Has she always been this way, or is this behavior new? If it’s a recent change, discuss your concerns with your husband. You might want to consider getting her checked out for possible issues like dementia. Sometimes, kleptomania can manifest in individuals who feel compelled to steal things. But they really need to acknowledge the problem themselves for anything to change.
Dear Abby: Granddaughter’s Disappointment
My husband and I are facing a dilemma. Our 12-year-old granddaughter had a big birthday celebration earlier this year. Her other grandparents offered her a choice between $100 or a night at a hotel with a pool, and she picked the hotel. Now, several months later, we have had no plans to take her. Meanwhile, her other grandparents are busy with their own lives. Our granddaughter expressed that she feels hurt and a bit upset. After discussing it, she seems to understand that adults sometimes overlook how fast time flies.
We’re thinking about sliding a $100 bill under her pillow to help mend her feelings towards her other grandparents. Is that a good idea, or should we just let it be? I know we aren’t to blame, but it really pains me to see her so disappointed after looking forward to her birthday gift. What do you think? — Grandma knows best
Dear Grandma:
It’s clear you and your husband care a lot, and I get why you’d want to help. Still, I don’t think it’s the best move. Your granddaughter needs to learn that not everyone follows through on promises. It’s a tough lesson, but understanding it now might make things easier for her as she grows up.
