Dear Abby: I’m a lesbian and we’ve been dating for a year and a half. My partner has spent most of his life with men. One of her last ex-lovers is someone she now calls her best friend. She talks and texts with him every day. I now have trust issues with them because of what happened 4 months ago.
I love her very much, except she doesn’t have much love for me, and I need that. When I first got involved with her, I knew he was going to be in her life. They don’t have kids to hook them up with, but we all go kayaking together often. I’m not happy with it, but she didn’t give me her options if I wanted to kayak with her. She also hides things from me, like when buying him gifts.
How can I handle the jealousy I feel towards him? I can’t stand being around him. Because in his heart he knows there is deception. But I don’t want to lose all my good relationship with her. — Three people are a crowd in Virginia
Three dear people are here: What does “everything goes well with her” mean? What I deduced from your letter is that you spent a year and a half with someone who is bisexual and doesn’t fully trust you and makes you feel like a third wheel.
From where I sit, your jealousy is justified. The relationship between the three is terribly crowded, unless by mutual consent. If she hasn’t told her about her feelings yet, she should. And if you can’t reach a solution, end the suffering and move on.
Dear Abby: I am the father of an adult son “Kirk” and am in a relationship with a young woman who has a young child. Although neither of them are highly educated, they both have decent jobs.
Kirk has a teenage daughter who is preparing for college in another state. I don’t know how much he supports her financially, but they are close. I’ve been saving money for her college and he hasn’t yet. Kirk did not marry his mother.
My concern was that my son and his girlfriend were trying to have a child. When he told me she was pregnant I was furious and told him what a mistake this was. I told Kirk that neither he nor she owned anything and asked him what he was looking forward to with the baby. His girlfriend has not received any support from the father of his child.
My son no longer speaks to me. Is this my fault? I said what I believed was in the best interest of everyone involved, both financially and morally. — Notice Florida’s mistake
Dear everyone: Sometimes it’s wise to ask yourself questions before you speak. Is it helpful? Is it kind? ” Your comment is true, but your girlfriend is already pregnant.
I don’t think what you said was helpful or kind, because regardless of whether he marries his mother or not, Kirk will be financially strapped until his second child comes of age. If you want to build a relationship with her son, it may be time to apologize.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440 (Los Angeles, CA 90069).
