Sometimes all you need to do is look at it, and the Chicago White Sox are great at it: They’re the worst baseball players in professional baseball.
That’s clear even without looking at their season record, which included 14-0 and 21-0 losses. As of Saturday morning, they were 28-90 and had a .237 winning percentage. That certainly puts them in position to challenge the 1962 Mets, who went 40-120 and had a .250 winning percentage, and who for a long time were the gold standard — or should I say the zinc standard — of baseball futility.
White Sox games won’t be featured on ESPN or Fox, so you’ll have to hunt them down, but Yankees fans can still enjoy their slapstick antics this week as the Yankees play the Chicago White Sox in three games at Guaranteed Rate Field that should be rated NC-17 on YES TV.
NC stands for “non-competitive.”
How bad is it?
Things are so bad that this week the good folks at Strat-O-Matic simulated a best-of-seven series between the ’24 White Sox and the ’62 Mets. It’s not a Fall Classic, but rather an “Appall Classic,” so to speak.
Of course, it went to a Game 7, because even the two most losing teams, the ’24 Red Sox and the ’62 Mets, couldn’t lose it all. And in Game 7, Jay Hook pitched a complete game, Sammy Taylor hit a grand slam in the fourth inning, and the Mets won, 7-5. This matches the 41-121 record that the Strat-O-Matic team had for the ’24 White Sox in a simulated season. The White Sox would go on to have the most losses of all time, but the original Mets would still hold the distinction of holding the worst losing percentage since baseball expanded in 1961, at .250-.253.
Let me just say this: I’d still be surprised if the White Sox didn’t somehow make it to 45 wins or something. It hurts to lose that much. It’s a fact of life. Few teams have looked as bad as the 2003 Tigers. They were the last team to seriously attack the 1962 Mets all season long. And they were right there.
In the fourth inning, baseman Frank Thomas reached first base safely, allowing St. Louis pitcher Dov Gibson to reach first base safely.
July 8, 1962, at the New York Polo Grounds. Associated Press
After 156 games, they were 38-118, but things started to get better. Still, after 160 games, they were 41-119, well within reach. In the 161st game, the Twins, who were only 49 games behind in the AL Central, took an 8-0 lead in the fifth inning. Casey and Marvelous Marv came back to score 120 runs! But the Tigers came back to win, scoring four in the eighth and then taking the lead in the ninth on a walk-off wild pitch by… (wait for it)… 46-year-old Jesse Orosco. It was the final time he took the mound in his 24-year major league career. The next day, the Tigers won 7-4 to make it 43-119.
Old Jesse earned his final save for his former team, the Mets, and maintained his status as baseball’s infamous leader.
“It’s funny, but when you’re such a bad team, sometimes you win games you shouldn’t win because the other team that’s still playing gets nervous because if they lose to you, it’s like they’ve lost twice,” Houck told me a few years ago. And it’s true. The Giants and Dodgers ended up sharing the championship that year. The Giants won the playoffs, but they wouldn’t have had to if the Dodgers had gone 17-1 against the Mets instead of 16-2.
“And that’s what bothered them,” Hook said. “I know because they told me.”
The truth is, the ’62 Mets have been lenient on this subject for the past 62 years, but it’s time to pass the baton — or in this case, the matchstick — to a new generation of awful teams. The ’73 Sixers probably wouldn’t pop the cork no matter which team lost 74 games (not a word was heard from either team when the 2012 Bobcats “bested” them in a lockout-shortened 7-59 season), and I don’t recall the ’76 Buccaneers celebrating when their 0-14 record was circumstantially surpassed by the 0-16 infamy of the ’08 Lions and ‘017 Browns.
Some records should never be broken, but some should be broken with mercy.
Vac’s Smash
If Jazz Chisholm plays his cards right, I think this could be the start of a beautiful friendship between him and Yankees fans.
The Globetrotters begin a 10-day stay at the American Dream on Friday, and in between games and clinics, a first-of-its-kind store will open selling memorabilia and unique items, like a signed jersey by Carly Neal that was unearthed from the archives this week. The Globetrotters are always worth a visit, but this time it’s in East Rutherford.
Sarah Seeber Zaske couldn’t pass up the chance to watch her dad’s team play so close to her home in Washington state, so she and her family will be in Seattle on Sunday, sitting next to the Mets dugout as the Amazings take on the Mariners. “The Mets don’t come to this area often, so we just had to get out there,” she says. “It’ll be awesome to yell ‘Go Mets’ again.”
Speaking of franchises… In April I was convinced that if the Mets let Pete Alonso go, there would be a torch-and-pitchfork revolt at Citi Field, like when the Mets traded Seaver to the Reds in 1977. Now… well, that doesn’t seem to be the case now. What do you think, Mets fans?
Counterattack Vac
Peter Colford: Question: Who will win more games this year, the Giants or the Nets?
vacuumI know the Nets are gearing up for a major tankapalooza, but there’s a reason the ’73 Sixers held a 9-73 record for so long. It’s hard to lose that many games in the modern NBA. So…Nets.
Rich LePetriI was surprised you didn’t mention Mark Messier in today’s Captains column. Is there a reason for that? Just curious.
vacuum: Messier is the best example of a true captain’s captain, but every team in the NHL has a captain. It’s less common in the NBA or MLB. It’s worth explaining.
Dr. SchnipPedro Grifol was fired by the White Sox this season after a .319 winning percentage and 21 straight losses, as well as a 14-game losing streak, but he still has a better winning percentage than the three Jets head coaches who coached more than five games: Lou Holtz, Rich Kotite and Adam Gase.
Mike Vack: If you’ve ever wondered if the last 56 years have all been a dream.
Alex BurtonI read an article this week about why Aaron Judge honors Brett Gardner with a certain gesture to the crowd before games. Shouldn’t the Yankees have a day to honor Brett, who was such a great player for so many years and was our last link to the 2009 championships when he retired?
vacuum: I’ve heard a lot of Yankees fans over the years say they can’t wait for Gardner (not Alex) to go away, but I think they want Gardner’s effort and energy to stay with the team.
