Insights from a Former Royal Butler on Etiquette

Grant Harold, who served as King Charles III’s butler from 2004 to 2011, shares his thoughts on royal etiquette in his recent memoir, “Royal Butler: My Amazing Life in Royal Service.” His insights come from years of experience working with the British royal family.

Many people assume that meeting the royal family involves formal gestures like bowing. Harold, however, clarifies, “You don’t have to bow. It’s a personal choice, not a demand. The King mentioned that when you bow, you’re acknowledging the title, not the person.” This perspective offers a refreshing take on royal interactions.

When Harold first met the royals, he observed that they preferred to initiate interactions, which can relieve some of the nervousness people feel when meeting them. “It’s common for guests to worry about conversation topics, but it’s about letting them lead,” he explains.

Interestingly, during lavish state banquets, the royals maintain a focus on conversation over the extravagant dining setup. Harold notes, “You might think handling intricate table settings is the challenge. However, what truly matters is who you talk to. The King engages one guest during the main course and then switches to another for dessert.” This approach creates a more intimate atmosphere among attendees.

“The rules can feel quite rigid,” he continues, “like waiting until the King starts eating. But not all rules are strictly observed anymore. For example, walking backward out of the room isn’t required today.” It’s fascinating how some traditions fade while others remain steadfast.

On a lighter note, fashion rules also seem to be evolving, especially for women. British fashion commentator Helena Chard mentions that it’s now more acceptable for women in the royal family to forgo tights—once seen as essential—when the late Queen preferred them for a polished look. Similarly, she adds that dress codes have become a bit more relaxed overall.

When it comes to dining habits, certain practices stand out. For instance, the royals sip from the same spot on their glasses to avoid lipstick marks, and handbags are traditionally carried on the left side. These small details reflect a level of elegance and care that seems to define royal life.

Of course, some peculiar rules still apply. For example, children in the royal family continue to wear shorts until they reach a certain age, a tradition steeped in historical class customs. “It’s a long-standing fashion etiquette,” remarked royal commentator Amanda Matta.

Overall, the royal family adapts to modern sentiments while holding onto certain traditions that define their identity. As society shifts, perhaps more of these old protocols will evolve too. It’s all quite a balancing act between maintaining legacy and embracing change.