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Lessons college students can gain from feeling lonely

Lessons college students can gain from feeling lonely

The Changing Landscape of Liberal Arts Education

The concept of “liberal arts education” is evolving as major universities adopt a more corporate-like bureaucratic approach.

Academic standards seem to be declining, which not only allows for mediocrity but also emphasizes degrees and qualifications that are marketable, rather than fostering genuine, deep learning.

Teachers often deliver content filtered through a limited ideological lens, prioritizing the satisfaction of students as “customers” over promoting open exploration.

A Restless Heart

Both left and right voices express concern about how ill-equipped education systems are in preparing students for active civic engagement, whether viewed from religious or secular standpoints.

During my time at university, I noticed troubling signs of treating students like interchangeable consumers. Issues like depression and loneliness thrived in environments that didn’t explore key existential questions about truth, virtue, and love.

Yet, amidst these challenges, I found glimmers of hope. Reflecting on my own undergraduate experience, I realize how crucial it was to address loneliness, sadness, and meaning directly, even if it sometimes seemed risky to share my feelings.

Dopamine Ministry

I remember questioning why I frequently felt isolated, even when surrounded by friends. Loneliness crept in despite having fun with people who genuinely cared.

I sought friendships to fill my time, acutely aware of my need for validation. Boredom with classwork led to endless scrolling on social media, waiting for something exciting to distract me. Each notification sent a thrill up my spine.

Higher Education

Throughout my freshman years, I chased that high, hoping each experience would be more intense than the last. We would watch movies, attend concerts, and try new foods together.

Yet, in the midst of the fun, I felt the shadow of emptiness. Tasks felt monotonous, chores became tedious, and that loneliness was an ever-present companion.

I tended to view friendships as tools to alleviate my boredom and loneliness. Anxiety clouded my thoughts; I worried whether friends liked me or preferred someone more captivating.

Looking Inward

This anxiety followed me until I met someone who didn’t chase thrills for validation. Instead, he engaged in deeper conversations about life. I was used to distractions but found it refreshing to discuss topics I often avoided.

He shared his struggles with loneliness and boredom and expressed his search for meaning. His willingness to be vulnerable made me reflect on my own feelings.

Who was this person? He seemed less interested in using me and more focused on understanding what we both were grappling with. Being with him let me embrace my true self without the pressure of performance.

“Long Loneliness”

He introduced me to his other friends, and I found they shared a similar outlook. Their gatherings weren’t about escaping reality through excess, but rather about facing life’s challenges together and seeking truth.

Later, I stumbled upon Dorothy Day’s book, “Long Loneliness,” which resonated with the community I’d encountered. Loneliness isn’t something that can be utterly eradicated—it must be acknowledged and shared.

Day wrote, “We all know long loneliness, and the only solution is love, which comes through community.”

Navigating the Wound

Instead of simply “fixing” loneliness, we should delve deeper and help one another embrace it. Most importantly, we must support each other in the quest for ultimate truth and love that our loneliness signifies.

In my younger days, I tried to silence the inner voice of my heart. A true friend is someone who admits they are incomplete, creating a space where I can acknowledge my own needs. In that acceptance, loneliness transforms from a burden into an opportunity for deeper love.

Related: Rediscovering the Virtue of Citizenship on a Remote Canadian Island

Seeking Deeper Direction

Even if universities seem to neglect guiding students towards meaningful pursuits, the desire for that meaning persists. This is evident in the troubling rise in suicide rates among youth.

In this challenging landscape, a classmate, instructor, or administrator who broaches these critical topics can make a significant difference. Such discussions can help students grapple with the loneliness that often accompanies the quest for self-understanding and belonging.

As another fall season approaches, colleges will welcome new students during orientation. While practical advice on navigating academic and social challenges is essential, I hope these young individuals can find moments to engage with their innermost thoughts and feelings.

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