TPublishing a book in January is to let the world know that you have the secret of miraculous self-improvement. Head to bookstores now for brand-new books on how to eat better, drink better, sleep better, prevent dementia, overcome anxiety, heal intergenerational trauma, and generally become invincible in the process. You will find the book. Frankly, it's exhausting.
And Professor of Immunology John Tregoning opens his new book, Live Forever? By pointing out that you will definitely die. No matter what you do, time always trumps you, he writes. “It wants your heart to stop and your lungs to fail…and it wants you to disappear from the world, leaving only traces of you in the memories of others.” And the teacher ,happy new year.
Over the next 430 pages, Tregoning shows how each organ disappoints the reader. You may suffer from heart disease or have a stroke. Maybe you get cancer or your lungs run out of oxygen. Do not forget about problems with the kidneys, liver and pancreas. Oh, or dementia? Whatever it is, even if you're lucky enough to avoid poisons, serious accidents, or infections, your body will turn against you at some point.
Tregoning points out that death is “the original zero-sum game.” There was once a time when people died primarily from things they picked up from other people. Science stopped this, so people started dying from heart disease. These numbers are starting to improve and more people are now dying from cancer. Maybe someday that will heal. But guess what? Something else will kill us instead. That's always the case. It is the darkest of all subjects. With this in mind, what's most surprising about Live Forever? How much fun is it? This is a warm, engaging, and often laugh-out-loud funny book, thanks in no small part to Tregoning's willingness to use himself as a guinea pig at every turn.
Organ by organ, he submits himself to tests, diagnostic tools and so-called treatments in the hope that his life will somehow be prolonged. He analyzes his genes, restricts his calories, swims in cold water, and begins a nightmarish high-fiber diet. The experiment often causes distress to family members and colleagues, sporadic changes in the color of their urine, and despair about the wellness industry as a whole. But do they work?
Some may be disappointed that Professor Tregoning does not reach any ground-breaking conclusions here. There are no hidden secrets to overcoming death, just strengthening the basics we know anyway. Smoking is bad for your health. Exercise is good for your health. Avoid excessive intake of salt, alcohol, and red meat. Stress and isolation don't help, but sunscreen does. Also, men should try to ejaculate at least 21 times a month. The latter advice so mortified Tregoning that he had to hide it behind two separate warnings and a complete page break, but its impact on prostate cancer is undeniable.
Sadly, relentless ejaculation cannot stop death. It will eventually guide you. Maybe you'll live to triple digits and die of plain old cell phone wear and tear, but at that point all your friends will be dead, you'll be heavily dependent on drugs, and your quality of life will probably suck. It will be. With that in mind, is it better to smoke, drink alcohol, and eat steak in hopes of having a huge heart attack without warning? As Tregoning points out, As you can see, these things are likely to cause illnesses that can leave you feeling incredibly unwell for years. Death, he says, is less scary than decline. It's something we can learn how to cope with.
The beauty of Live Forever is that it recognizes the problems we all face, yet manages to do so in a way that feels almost comforting. Tregoning reassures us that by taking care of ourselves and, most importantly, living a happy and fulfilling life, we can still make good on a bad hand. We are all heading to the grave, but he is better than anyone to lead us there.
After newsletter promotion
