President Biden’s campaign took a major hit after his disastrous performance in the CNN presidential debate, and now one of his “advisers” has a new plan of attack.
While this “advisor” isn’t actually an advisor, his ideas for ensuring Biden wins the 2024 presidential election are pretty brilliant.
“I’ve been involved in these campaigns for quite some time,” the “advisor,” who goes by the stage name Wilfred, told a panting Mr. Glenn. “I’ve been watching the debates on TV.”
Wilfred called the debate a “disaster” and said it reminded him of the time he “tried to woo Ethel at the prom.”
“She seemed obsessed with it but she had so many layers of pantaloons on that she didn’t get them on by the end of the night and then the sun came up and I was still trying to get my layers off,” Wilfred said, to Glenn’s laughter.
“So, Wilfred, are we really looking to the future and watching to see if he withdraws from the campaign – what’s decided?” Glenn asked his “advisor.”
“The first thing that was decided was that his entire campaign would be sponsored by Prevagen,” Wilfred explains. “In fact, if you filled about 80% of his digestive system with Prevagen, I think you’d get multiple sentences coming out at the same time.”
While this is a perfect idea, it’s not the only thing Wilfred has in store.
“He also beat Medicare,” he proudly told Glenn, but he had one concern.
“I worry that Joe Biden will be perceived as too young for the American people. I don’t know if you’ve noticed lately, but the American people love older candidates. They don’t want someone who’s consistent,” he explains.
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