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My alcoholic sister ruined my wedding day

Dear Abby: I recently married my high school sweetheart, 30 years apart. We were both in our 50s, so we wanted a low-key ceremony, no wedding, no fuss, just us, madly in love and doing our thing. My sister, the only one we told about it, begged me to join her. “At least let me sign as a witness. At least let me bring a cake. At least let me have some flowers.” We took her to court and took lots of pictures, which I will treasure. Masu.

The problem started after the courthouse ceremony when she insisted that we go celebrate. We had other plans but agreed. Well, at one bar she took over and got so drunk that she demanded this and that from us and went somewhere else. We shut her up and went back to the hotel to eat some unsolicited cake.

She drank more alcohol, became too drunk to drive, and passed out for six hours afterwards. When she finally regained consciousness, she was “very embarrassed” and walked away. So instead of the magical day (and night) we had planned, we fell asleep because we had early appointments the next day. The problem is that I can't forgive her. I don't want to meet her. How can I overcome this? — The Unhappy Bride of Florida

Dear bride: OK, your sister has a drinking problem. If you noticed it for the first time, you will understand why the situation got out of control. If not, realize that “we'll get through this” your That's part of what happened.

If your sister wanted to go to a “celebration” after the ceremony, you and your husband should have broken up by saying that her proposal wasn't what you had planned.

Dear Abby: I have a long-time friend. We come from the same hometown and enjoyed getting together every Saturday morning for breakfast and talking at length about each other's highlights and sometimes disappointments. We considered each other best friends.

A few years ago, she got a boyfriend (also retired) and since then he hasn't made time for our get-togethers. It's been two years since she's been available for food, wine, and a quick chat. Nowadays, when we talk on the phone, it's limited to “How are you doing?” It's okay.'' kind of conversation.

I keep sending cards and delivering holiday gifts like before, but I get very little gratitude. I no longer feel like continuing to make one-sided and frustrating phone calls. Do I have to let everything go, fade into the distance, and be happy that this situation is over? — Marooned in California

Dear Left Behind: Your friend's life has taken a different direction. The answer to your question is yes, because she is now putting her energy into her relationship with her boyfriend.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Dear Abby, contact: http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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