Dear Abby Letters

Dear Abby: Both my husband and I are excited about welcoming our first grandchild. We’ve decided to name our son after my husband’s middle name and use his father’s middle name as the baby’s middle name. My father is a third generation with no sons, so I thought this approach would be a nice way to honor him and include my side of the family.

I told my sister first about the name we chose for our son. The following day, she called, quite upset. She had always planned to use their father’s middle name for her son’s first name. I was aware of her intention, but I didn’t think it would cause an issue to use it as a middle name. Plus, she’s younger, not married, and doesn’t have children yet. The conversation got intense, escalating to shouting, and I eventually had to hang up.

During that call, she proposed we either change our decision or use my maiden name instead for the middle name. She wants her son to have that first name from their father, but should we really change our child’s name for her wishes? famous in the east

Dear Writing: I’m puzzled as to why your sister feels she can intervene in your naming choices. You certainly don’t need to change your plans for her sake. It’s important you choose a name that feels right for your baby. So move forward with what you believe is best and don’t look back.

Another Dear Abby Letter

Dear Abby: I’m in my 40s and am dating a great guy who’s around my age. I’ve accomplished a lot — bought a house, earned degrees, and had a successful business in my 20s. Yet, my recent relationships haven’t been the best. This man I’m seeing now doesn’t seem to get crucial aspects of life. He doesn’t shower much, often wears the same outfit days on end, drinks daily, and stays up all night on weekends. When we started dating, he was jobless and carless, living with friends.

Three months have gone by and he finally got a job. Now he practically lives at my place and helps with finances, but, surprisingly, he still hasn’t changed his hygiene habits. I’ve talked to him about it multiple times; he promises to improve but rarely follows through. My family thinks I should end it since they feel I’m just yearning for love. What’s your take? — Losing hope in Pennsylvania

Dear Losing Hope: It’s really about how you feel in this situation, not what your family suggests. His body odor is certainly an issue. It’s time for an ultimatum: if he wants to keep living with you, he needs to shower regularly. Be clear about your expectations. After that, if things don’t change, you may need to reconsider the relationship. (Yikes!)