My boyfriend feels insecure about my successful career

Dear Abby

My partner “Greg” and I have been in a relationship for a year now. Lately, I’ve noticed that my career success seems to make him anxious. I chose a stable, well-paying job, which feels rewarding because it means I can support our future kids if we decide to have any. I’ve received several big promotions, but that also means my schedule is tougher, and sometimes my work gets a bit less technical.

When work gets particularly stressful, Greg tends to withdraw. He often starts bragging about his income and work responsibilities. He visits less frequently and acts disinterested in my activities when I’m around. He also refuses to help out with chores, insisting he is very busy and tired from his job, which he describes as extremely demanding.

Honestly, Greg’s job seems to require a lot less effort than mine, but he tends to exaggerate it, perhaps to make himself feel better. I’ve tried boosting his confidence, but that seems to push him further away instead of getting him more involved. It feels like whenever my workload spikes and I could really use his support, he suddenly disappears.

Greg had promised to move in with me months ago, but five months have passed, and nothing has changed. I’ve expressed feeling unsupported and lonely, but he claims I’m misunderstandings and insists he isn’t sexist. Still, I can’t shake the feeling that there’s a consistent pattern here.

I want a family and to settle down, and I think it’s important to have someone reliable during tough times. Should I keep trying to fix things with Greg, or is his ego a problem that won’t go away? Maybe I should just cut my losses. — Competing for career in Colorado

Advice

To those concerned about their careers: Honestly, what you’re experiencing with Greg could be a glimpse of what would happen if the relationship progressed. He might be a decent guy, even if his confidence is lacking, but there are clear issues here. You’re successful while he doesn’t seem to be. If both of you are open to couples counseling, maybe you could work on building the relationship you want. But if that isn’t an option, it might be better to part ways amicably.

Dear Abby

We have some close friends we see frequently. But whenever we invite them somewhere, they always seem to bring others along, people we know. Our most recent invitation was for them to visit us at our lake house for a few days, but they want to bring their adult son and his girlfriend. We really like their son, but we’re not sure about his girlfriend.

We don’t want to hurt feelings or damage our friendship, but we’re tired of our invitations turning into bigger gatherings. How should we handle this? — Kind Southerners