Advice on Relationship Challenges

Dear Abby: My boyfriend “Roy” is quite reserved. His previous relationship was tough on him; his ex-girlfriend mistreated him and his family, leading him to distance himself from me somewhat. We’ve been together for about a year and a half, and while I’ve met his son, he hasn’t introduced me to the boy’s mother.

Five months ago, Roy stopped being intimate with me. I accused him of cheating, but he insists he isn’t. At only 44, he claims he’s lost interest in sex, though he doesn’t know why. He still tells me he loves me, but sometimes I just don’t feel it. He used to be affectionate, but now he rarely kisses me. Interestingly, his ex was also affectionate until her relationship took a turn for the worse.

Roy seems to enjoy when I refer to him as my husband, yet it feels like he’s scared of love. What should I do? — I love Teddy Bear Man

To my loved ones: Your boyfriend may really benefit from counseling to address his past trauma. The relationship needs to progress, but he has to be willing to talk about his past and seek help to move forward.

Dear Abby: I was married for a decade before my husband divorced me. He and his ex-wife share four children. After their split, they held joint custody, but he relocated, leaving the kids with their mother.

We have now been married for 38 years. At my husband’s mother’s funeral, his ex-wife was present, along with her children, spouses, and grandchildren—none of whom attended with their father. It was really distressing.

How can I prevent her from coming to my husband’s funeral when he passes? — His long-time wife

Dear wife: Funerals serve to comfort the living rather than the deceased. Should your husband pass before you, the responsibility for arranging his funeral will fall on you. If you prefer his ex-wife not to attend, make your wishes clear in advance. And if she shows up, you can ask the attendants to prevent her entry.

To our readers: Happy St. Patrick’s Day! May there always be work available to you. May you keep a couple of coins in your pocket. May the sun shine warmly on your home. May there always be a rainbow after the rain. May a friend’s hand always be near you. And may joy fill your hearts.

Love, Abby