Dear Abby: My boyfriend Guy and I have been together for several years, and he often invites me on trips. I checked the accommodation costs for one destination, but he claimed it was too pricey. Even though he has the funds, we’re not going anywhere.
Recently, his brother suggested a family cruise and mentioned that Guy should take his ex-wife, who is beginning to show signs of dementia. It’s been a long time since Guy’s divorce. I kept quiet, but when the plans were made, I felt blindsided and hurt that Guy thought it was just fine to take her instead of me. I wouldn’t mind if he didn’t choose either of us, but I really dislike being overlooked for her. Am I overreacting?
By the way, I’m currently caring for a dog again while Guy is away for a week dealing with his ex-wife’s will. — home alone in florida
Dear Home Alone: Something seems off about this situation. Your boyfriend divorced his ex-wife years ago. Doesn’t his brother understand you’ve been his partner for quite some time? If money is the issue, wouldn’t it make sense for Guy and his brother to split the cost for bringing you both along instead of leaving you out?
Dear Abby: My husband “Dan” and I are separated, and our kids are 20 and 22. Dan just got diagnosed with a serious illness (potentially life-threatening). He told our children but hasn’t shared details with me. I’m not trying to pry; I just think it’s important for us to be on the same page for the sake of our kids.
Our children aren’t verbal, so we can’t really talk about this among ourselves. One child lives at home and has a diagnosis of autism, ADHD, PTSD, and major depression. Their health has been declining, with several hospital stays in recent years. They have no friends or family contact, just me and their father as support.
I believe it’s crucial to keep my kids informed and to help them cope with any changes. Is it wrong to ask my ex for more information? in the dark of vermont
Dear In the Dark: There’s nothing wrong with wanting to ask your ex-husband for clarification. Given your child’s mental health struggles, it’s understandable. However, if he refuses, try to accept that and do your best to support the children with the information you have. You deserve compassion in this tough situation.
