Dear Abby: I recently discovered that my best friend has been secretly growing his hair for a year. He knows I’ve been dealing with hair loss for a long time. I’ve come to terms with it, but he also knows I’m always on a journey of self-improvement.
What really irritates me is that he didn’t mention his hair growth until he casually brought up Rogaine. That’s when he revealed he’s been using similar products, and it seems to be working for him. He took off the baseball cap he’d worn for a year and showed me some modest results. Honestly, if I hadn’t brought it up, I doubt he would have ever said anything.
I feel like I’ve been kept in the dark about something significant, and I don’t see why he felt it was necessary to hide it. I get that he might have felt embarrassed discussing something personal, but, still, it’s about self-improvement.
What are the etiquette guidelines here? Should one share a mildly effective self-improvement method with a best friend who could clearly benefit from it? – Shaft in Pennsylvania
Dear Shaft: There aren’t really any hard-and-fast etiquette rules when it comes to this kind of thing. Remember, even if you think you’re close, some people find it difficult to discuss medical treatments or self-improvement efforts, whether that’s plastic surgery, weight loss medication, or solutions for hair loss. Your friend might have been pleased to mention he was using a product that you’re considering, but he wasn’t obligated to share it.
Dear Abby: I recently separated from my wife and have developed feelings for someone new, “Maria.” The catch is, Maria is currently dating someone else. Still, we talk constantly and enjoy each other’s company.
I’ve told her how I feel, but instead of addressing it, she continually reminds me she’s seeing someone. I’m left feeling confused. I tried to pull away, but she keeps reaching out, and our conversations pick up again. Should I back off and move on, or keep engaging with her while I can? – Confused in California
Dear Confused: It sounds like you really care for Maria, but if she’s in a relationship, it’s important to consider that. If things don’t work out for her, she might reach out to you, which could lead to something more. For now, it might be best to give her some space and see what happens. Move on if you need to.
Dear Abby was created by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was started by her mother, Pauline Phillips. For more information, you can reach out to Dear Abby.
