Dear Abby: When my son got married in 2003, we spent a lot of fun time with him and his wife. Things have changed now that we have cell phones. It's almost impossible to have a relationship with her. Because she is always on the phone when they come to the house. My son is talking to his father and I'm sitting there wondering what to do.
Do you want to say something to your wife about this? She answers the phone as soon as she arrives and stays on the line most of the time. This didn't happen when cell phones weren't so popular. It hurts my feelings that she would go out of her way to come to my house just to socialize with her Facebook friends and not us.
Should I speak up? I don't want to cause trouble and I don't want to isolate them. I love them, but I think it's rude that she's on the phone the whole time they're here. I feel like I'm not good enough for her to talk to me. I have two other daughters-in-law who may come on the phone from time to time, but I don't like this daughter. — No phone in Kentucky
Dear: Of course, your wife's behavior is disrespectful. It's also insensitive. It won't stop unless you and your husband say something. In that case, don't defend your message in terms of being “rude.” Instead, tell her that it hurts your feelings and gives the impression that she doesn't value your company as much as you do. It also prevents high-quality visits. Expressing it this way may make her less defensive because it's true.
Dear Abby: My fiance and I have been together for years. I didn't really like his mother – for good reason. She treats her son with disrespect and disrespect. The last straw was 2 months ago when she came over and made a derogatory comment to me about him. (He wasn't there.) That was a lie, so I accused her of it. Of course, she had no objection. Even in my personal life, I'm negative and tell a lot of lies.
I talked to my fiancé about this, and he told me about his problems with her, but he told her that if she doesn't respect him, she has to risk breaking things off with him. It wasn't a way to make you understand. She takes advantage of others, is two-faced, and rarely takes a bath. At this point I'm considering breaking off the engagement. I'm disgusted by this woman's lack of respect. Should I leave this relationship? — In the East, they were disgusted and appalled.
Dear haters: If your tolerance level has reached its limit, you may have to leave the area. But I don't think you should give your fiance an ultimatum where he has to choose between you and his mother. As unpleasant and unpleasant as she is, she is still his mother. I think you should encourage him to consult a licensed psychologist about his relationship with his girlfriend. If it's unhealthy as you described, he may decide to distance himself from her.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Dear Abby, contact: http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
