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My daughter is being bullied because I won’t let her wear makeup to school

When I was 10 years old, my siblings and I would go outside climbing trees and riding our bikes to the playground at the end of the street.

I remember wearing hand-me-down clothes that didn’t fit well, given to me by my mother’s friend’s daughter. I cringe when I look at the photos now, but back then I didn’t really care.

“They wear makeup to school.”

Now my daughter *Ava is 10 years old and she couldn’t be any different.

Her priorities revolve around her appearance, from fashion to skin care to makeup. It wasn’t until I was in my mid-teens that I started caring about it.

There’s nothing wrong with Eva being interested in fashion and playing with style. Because you can tell that she is genuinely interested in this field. However, what I have a problem with is the makeup. Because we know this is coming from somewhere else.


The girls are only 10 years old and wear makeup every day to school.
Getty Images/iStockphoto

Elsewhere here are her friends, actually the majority of the 5th and 6th graders at her elementary school. Girls between the ages of 10 and 12 are experimenting with makeup products, and not just in fun ways like little kids applying bright blue eyeshadow and red lipstick at home on the weekends, but also wearing it to school. I also go there.

At least from what I’ve seen and heard, they wear foundation, mascara, and lip gloss, so there’s nothing dramatic about it, but elementary school kids are too young to wear these products anyway. think. It’s just not necessary.

“I said she was too young.”

So when Eva recently asked me to do her makeup for her birthday and wanted it so she could wear it to school, I said no. I told her that she doesn’t need makeup for school even though she is in high school because she is too young. That’s when I realized how much of a problem this was. Because after I told Eva this, she started crying. I was really upset that I said no to this.


*Eva's mother said that she was too young to wear makeup to school.
*Eva’s mother said that she was too young to wear makeup to school.
Getty Images/iStockphoto

“All my friends wear this, and all the girls wear it,” she told me. “I don’t want to be the only one who isn’t. They’ll make fun of me,” she added.

After this, we had a great chat. At this time, I realized how big makeup was becoming and started to really pay attention to it. Most of the makeup was pretty natural, but there were definitely some weird faces with eyeshadow or colored lip gloss on, or really mismatched foundation or poorly applied mascara that were quite noticeable.

Seeing this as a mother was very confronting for a variety of reasons, but mainly because I thought my kids this young needed to wear makeup to fit in at school, and I didn’t wear makeup during the day. It made me sad that I thought I needed to fix it or tweak it a little. In the school bathroom, Eva told me.

I empathize with Eva and her desire to fit in, but at the same time feel conflicted that she has to wear makeup at age 10 in order to do so.

“The school has a policy.”

I actually researched the school’s policies on what is and isn’t acceptable when it comes to uniforms and dress codes.

However, apart from certain rules regarding jewelry related to health and safety and the fact that hair is tied back to reduce the transmission of lice, there are no specifications regarding makeup or nails. So, strictly speaking, makeup isn’t the issue here. to respect.

As a parent, that’s true. I just wish Eva could stay a child. I told her that she cared less about how she looked, how others saw her, and her idea that she needed to change herself to match – her innate desire to wear makeup. I want you to enjoy your time without worrying about it.

I’d understand if she just wanted to tinker with it at home, do tutorials, or do things like special effects makeup, but that’s different from her love of fashion, which is a whole different thing. I know there is.

The requests to wear make-up still continue, and Ava is told no, becoming increasingly upset. She honestly doesn’t know how long she can keep up her attitude, even though it has such a big influence on her. I also know that her situation will get even worse as she moves on to her 6th grade and then high school. I feel like she has to say yes eventually, even if she doesn’t want to.

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