Dear Abby: I’m a 60-year-old woman who has been dating a man from Denmark for the past year. A while back, he proposed, and I accepted. He wants my daughter and me to move to Denmark. My daughter, who is 21 and has high-functioning autism, still needs my assistance with daily tasks.
Recently, I lost my second job, which led to me falling behind on rent and ultimately getting evicted. My daughter and I had to move in with a friend in a different state. When I asked my fiancé for some financial help, he got upset, saying he didn’t want to be my sugar daddy.
He often discusses his finances, how much he makes and what’s in his bank account. I made it clear that I wasn’t seeking luxury items, just $2,000 to avoid losing my home. He suggested I ask my ex-husband for money instead. When that didn’t work out, we found ourselves without a place to stay. I eventually got another job, but the trouble was already done.
From the start of our relationship, I was upfront about my daughter needing to live with us. He said that would be fine, but now he’s changing his mind. He insists she should move out soon because she’s struggling with the language in a different country. He even said no to getting a cat, which upset me further. When I expressed my feelings, he became angry, stating it was over and that he wouldn’t help me.
I’m not someone who takes advantage of others; I’ve always worked hard. I believe families should support each other, especially in engagement. Now, I’m at a loss about where our relationship stands. My daughter feels rejected and doesn’t want to be around him. He has said that if she stays, she’ll need to find her own place. Any advice? — Going abroad from Maryland
Dear All: How many red flags are you ignoring? Your fiancé is controlling with money despite knowing your situation. He won’t change once you’re in Denmark. For the well-being of you and your daughter, consider ending the engagement. This isn’t the partner you need.
Dear Abby: There’s a boy in the grade above me who insults girls when he’s upset, calling them horrible names. The girls in my class are trying to ignore it, but we feel pushed to react. What should we do? — at a loss
To the end of Dear Wits: Resorting to violence isn’t the answer. Girls who face this kind of humiliation should talk to their parents and also reach out to their teachers. In the past, this kind of behavior wouldn’t have been tolerated.
