Dear Abby

Dear Abby: Last year, my husband and I moved back to our hometown after being abroad for several years. The transition has been quite lonely. A friend from school, “Skip,” has been supportive, but he tends to take over social situations. He often shares unflattering, one-dimensional stories about me and my husband, which really misrepresent our lives.

Skip also insists on being correct in conversations, which unfortunately isolates him further. He expresses a desire to meet new people, but doesn’t seem to grasp that his behavior can be off-putting. I’m wondering if I should just step back from him, or maybe discuss how my husband and I can meet others without Skip’s assumptions clouding our introductions. — Misrepresented in the Midwest

Dear Misrepresented: It’s important for you and your husband to find ways to socialize independently from old acquaintances. To me, it doesn’t seem like Skip is a true friend. Consider exploring volunteer opportunities or joining new social or special interest groups on your own. This will give people the chance to meet the real you, and it might help your husband feel less lonely. Don’t hesitate to start this process. Delaying might lead to feelings of isolation for him, which could be concerning.

Dear Abby: My husband has two adult children and grandchildren from his first marriage. When we met, he told me he had endured a very unhappy marriage for 30 years, which led his family to label me a homewrecker. While his children are polite, we don’t have any real relationship. My husband feels he has to carve out time for them on holidays, and I don’t see why I should spend my time and effort hosting people who aren’t fond of me. How can I handle this? — Looking for what’s fair

Dear Looking for Fairness: It might help to shift your perspective. You noted that your husband’s children are polite and kind. They might not dislike you but are probably wary of alienating their mother by getting close to you. If your husband wishes to invite them over, he should feel comfortable doing so, and you should strive to create a warm and welcoming atmosphere. If it requires a lot of effort, your husband should pitch in. This could help improve your relationship with them, ultimately benefiting everyone involved.