Dear Abby: Conflicted Family Relations
Dear Abby: I’ve been in jail for 21 months. I keep in touch with most of my family, except for my brother. There’s a feeling that he was involved with my girlfriend just before I ended up in prison, but I’m not completely sure. He insists it’s not true, and my family wants me to reach out to him. I just don’t know if I can, not until I’m totally certain he didn’t do anything. What do you think? – Confined to Delaware
Dear Lockup: It sounds like you’re feeling pretty stuck, not just physically but emotionally as well. It’s understandable to have doubts. What makes you think there’s something going on between them? Have you gathered any “evidence” before you were locked up? If your girlfriend was unfaithful before, why are you still considering her? Maybe it’s worth reflecting on why you think she could be dependable now?
There’s no concrete evidence against either of them. It might be necessary to have a conversation with both your brother and girlfriend. They might be able to put your mind at ease.
Dear Abby: Navigating Political Posts
Dear Abby: I enjoy catching up with my friends and family on Facebook, but two of my uncles have gotten really extreme with their political posts. They seem full of anger, and I hoped things would calm down post-election, but it feels worse. I’ve found some new friends who think like I do, but I hesitate to extend that to family. I’ve tried muting their posts temporarily, but when they come back, they’re often more frustrating. I’m really upset by what they write. Is it wrong to not want to engage with family? And if they notice I’m not interacting, how should I handle it? – Different in Texas
Dear Difference: You aren’t obligated to engage with content that bothers you, even if it’s from family. You might consider just blocking their posts without unfriending them outright. Facebook doesn’t alert them if you do that, so if they confront you later, just be honest without being defensive.
Dear Abby: Wedding Dilemma
Dear Abby: I’m getting married in six months, and we’re keeping it pretty small with around 80 guests. My fiancé and I just set a date for a college friend’s wedding in two weeks, but we’ll be on our honeymoon then, so it’s impossible to attend.
Originally, we weren’t planning to invite this couple to our own wedding, but now we feel obligated. We didn’t send them a save-the-date card. What’s the best way to handle this? Given our limited space and budget, inviting two more people isn’t easy. – Otherwise I’m working in New York
Dear Otherwise Engaged: You don’t owe an invitation to this couple. A kind note expressing your regret about missing their wedding while you’re on your honeymoon is enough. You might also consider sending a small gift with a heartfelt wish for their happiness.
