Dear Abby: I noticed my husband’s Instagram is filled with women posting revealing pictures. Is this emotional cheating, or is it simply lust? It really hurts me to see him checking out women online. Could this be a reason for a divorce? — Alabama Image Problem
Image issue: What you’re feeling is more about desire than actual emotional cheating. Emotional cheating implies an intimate relationship is developing with someone else. In Alabama, while there are several valid reasons for divorce, just looking at scantily clad women on social media doesn’t fall into that category. Many men do this, but it doesn’t necessarily threaten the marriage. It’s somewhat similar to having an old Playboy calendar hanging in your garage.
Now that I think about it, I recall a magazine called “Playgirl” that featured an attractive man in a rather revealing pose. (I might have heard about it from a friend.)
Dear Abby: I’ve been a hairdresser for over 37 years. My niece is getting married in two months, and four months ago, my sister-in-law asked me to do her hair, which I agreed to. Recently, I learned that another niece asked me to style her hair for the wedding due to her and her friend wanting to start a planning business. This really upsets me. Can you help me figure out why I shouldn’t be so bothered? — Ready to go in style in Ohio
Ready: You mentioned that the bride has another offer for her hair. Did she take it? If yes, maybe it’s time to let your feelings settle and wait to see how an amateur does on the big day. If you can approach this with compassion, keep your tools handy in case the bride ends up needing your expertise.
Dear Abby: Whenever I talk to my wife, she questions and doubts everything I say. Even when I walk in soaked and say, “It’s raining,” she checks the weather app on her phone. We went to counseling years ago, but the focus was mainly on my communication issues, which seems to have made her behavior worse.
I’ve hit my limit. I don’t want to engage with my wife anymore since she just questions me. Each time it happens, I feel my anger rising. Someday, I might share my thoughts about her actions. — Please keep it confidential.
Dear Keep: Are you waiting for that “someday” to tell her? It might be better to express your feelings now. Bottling up your anger won’t help. Let your wife know you’re at your limit and that further counseling with someone else might be necessary. If she’s not open to it, you may need to have a serious conversation with yourself now.
