Dear Abby: I have been married to my husband for 30 years. Over the past five years I have noticed that he has been acting a little differently. He lost a lot of weight. I found out he was smoking medicine. He had this problem many years ago, so I thought we'd beat it. But now I'm under the impression that you may not be able to beat it.
My daughter gave me my birthday tracker. I put him in his car to see where he went and it showed that he went to the apartment building and was there for almost an hour. I don't know who lives in that building and I have never been there. I think he's cheating on me. If something doesn't leave him there, you can't think of another reason why he's in an apartment in a really bad area. When I asked him where he was, he said, “Why are you asking me so many questions?”
I know my husband is lying to me. I am at the end of my wisdom and have no idea what to do. I know that if that's what I choose to do, it's really difficult to leave, but I don't think there's any other option. When I suggested marriage counseling, he refused. I told him he needed to do drug counseling. He said there was no problem. Obviously he has a problem. I told him he was too old for this. What do you think I should do? – Suspicion in Michigan
Dear Suspicious: It is important that you protect yourself before doing anything else. Talk to your doctor about your STD being checked. Next, I ask my husband to tell him about the tracker and explain the time he spent in the apartment. Was he with another woman? His drug dealer? (If it's a woman, is he going to continue seeing her?) Depending on the answer he gave you and whether you can believe them, you will speak to the lawyer and you I recommend you decide how you want to proceed.
Dear Abby: My 95-year-old mother was healthy until recently. She is in an independent living facility where she is happy. I am the primary caretaker of her medical needs as her heart is weakened and she is now under palliative care.
Her sister, “Julie,” who lives out of state, decided to put her camera in her mom's house and track and record it day and night. Mom doesn't care about the camera, but being constantly monitored and being monitored while visiting and supporting her makes it uncomfortable. Julie gets mad when I cover the camera while I'm there. Once you remove the cover, you can hear the camera zoom and focus around the room. Is it wrong to want privacy while visiting with my mother? – Colorado camera shy
Dear Camera Shay: The point of the camera is that when your mother is alone, someone can look at her. If you're there, you shouldn't need a camera. I think you told your sister you didn't want to monitor your visit and she continues to do it anyway. Feel free to cover it while you're there. But don't forget to reveal it when you leave.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Please contact dear Abby http://www.dearabby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
