Dear Abby: Marital Frustration

I’m feeling really frustrated with my husband. We’ve been married for 18 years, and whenever my period is approaching, he’s away for work, only home about four nights a week. This really stresses me out, especially when it comes to intimacy. If we can’t connect during that time, he gets upset and becomes distant. He even starts questioning when we can get back to being intimate.

No matter how I feel that month, my feelings seem to get pushed aside. He keeps saying that I “don’t make time for him.” I can’t help but wonder—should he really be angry at me for something my body naturally does? Is it really my responsibility to ensure he’s satisfied before my cycle comes? – Feeling judged in Canada

Dear Judged: It sounds like you might be dealing with an insensitive partner. It’s not fair for your husband to be upset about something you have no control over. Whether you’re just exhausted or have other stressors, it shouldn’t be your “duty” to keep him satisfied, especially if he’s often away until midnight. If this is how he approaches intimacy, I think he might need to rethink his methods. I really suggest both of you talk about this and consider seeking help from a marriage counselor.

PS: Remember, sex in a marriage should be a loving expression and not a chore or obligation.

Dear Abby: Grieving Loss

Five months ago, I lost my husband to cancer. Whenever I hear sad music or watch a touching film, it hits me hard, and I can’t help but cry, just thinking about him. He was such a good man, well-liked by many, and had a zest for life.

I devoted so much time caring for him right up until he passed. I was there for him, literally holding his hand as I said goodbye. Now, I wonder if I can find someone else to share my life with. What should I do moving forward? – Lost in Texas

Dear Lost: I’m truly sorry to hear about your husband’s passing. The void he left is definitely profound. Whether you find another partner will hinge on how ready you are to care for yourself, just as you did for him. Staying busy can be a way to help keep depression at bay.

Try to get outside and get some light exercise, like walking for at least 30 minutes each day. Rebuild your social connections; avoiding loneliness can help. Consider volunteering or participating in community activities. These experiences can open doors to meeting new people, though I can’t promise you’ll find another partner right away—it might just help uplift your spirit.